Here's your randomly selected funny email. Click here for a complete list.
Hit me again!

WHAT THE ORGANIZATIONAL CHART DOESN'T TELL YOU 
 
 In the lower ranks of the MIS world, sorting out job titles is a
 nearly impossible task.  Some folks are called Analysts.  Some are
 called Programmers. Some are called Engineers.  None of them has
 window offices.
 
 So I have listed -- from lowest to highest in order of prestige 
 -- and described the 10 most commonly used job titles in a data 
 processing shop.
 
 A truly experienced high-tech professional has held five or even six
 of these positions...usually all at the same time.
 
 10.  Programmer:
      This person holds the lowest rank in the DP field.  Manages no
      one.  Answers to everyone.  Approximately 50% of the Programmer's
      time is scheduled for testing.  Another 50% is spent filling out
      time cards and progress reports.  Any time left over is spent
      attending classes on technologies that will never be used in the
      shop. 
 
      The Programmer is appraised on code quality and reliability. 
      Never has time to write any.  Hopes to, someday, be promoted to
      Systems Analyst.
 
  9.  Systems Analyst:
      The Systems Analyst refuses to code anymore.  Designs new 
      systems. Writes specs for new systems.  Devises procedures 
      and work flows for new systems but ends up training users 
      on how to get by with the old ones.  Next in line for Team 
      Leader position.
 
  8.  Team Leader:
      A Team Leader manages one project.  Doesn't know why he's not
      called Project Leader;  that's what he has on his resume.
 
  7.  Project Leader:
      Manages several projects at once.  Analyzes Gantt charts from the
      Team Leaders' projects.  Coordinates schedules from the Team
      Leaders' projects.  Monitors deliverables from the Team Leaders'
      projects. Has absolutely no idea what any of the Team Leaders'
      projects are about. Wants to be a programmer again.
 
  6.  Operator:
      The Operator wields powers that the Project Leader can only dream
      about.  Makes Programmers beg for tape drives.  Makes Analysts
      beg for disk space.  Makes Team Leaders beg for printouts.  Has
      an uncanny understanding of career potential in the data
      processing industry. Going to law school at night. 
 
  5.  Systems Programmer:
      Even an Operator wants to be a Systems Programmer.  A          
      Systems Programmer has the authority to wipe out disk packs      
          without warning.  Crash the system during user demos.  Make
      new releases appear, then disappear, then reappear again,
      especially during month-end processing. 
 
  4.  DBA:
      No one really knows what the Database Administrator does, and no
      one is smart enough to know if the DBA is doing it or not.  But
      every shop must have one DBA, because no place can afford two of
      them.
 
  3.  Manager:
      The Manager is sometimes called a Director.  Or an Assistant
      Vice-President.  Or an Account Manager.  Has completely lost
      touch with any facsimile of technology.  Wants to finish next
      year's budget. Wants to finish last year's appraisals.  Wants to
      learn the names of some of the Programmers.  But instead, only
      has time to interview job applicants, especially DBAs.
 
  2.  Department Secretary:
      The Programmers have word processing.  The Managers have 
      electronic mail.  Everyone has automatic phone messaging.  
      This leaves the Department Secretary with all kinds of time to
      manipulate, control and dispense the three most basic employee
      needs:  paychecks, rumors, and supplies.  Can make copier
      self-destruct just by going to lunch.
 
  1.  Contract Programmer:
      A Contract Programmer doesn't have to wear a nice suit.  Or go to
      meetings.  Or fill out time cards.  Or keep complaints to
      himself.  He can make all the mistakes he wants.  He doesn't get
      benefits.  He doesn't get training.  He doesn't get respect.
 
      But after years in the trenches, the Contract Programmer will
      finally achieve the ultimate goal in the profession:  He will be
      able to make impossible deadlines with inadequate resources for
      desperate managers by puting in all kinds of extra hours... and
      will be paid overtime for every one of them.
 
 _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
 This is the ORIGINAL Joke of the Day!  Millions of humorous 
 e-mails sent around the globe since 1994!
 To be ADDED:  Send SUBSCRIBE JOKE to jokelist@joker.org
 To be REMOVED: send UNSUBSCRIBE JOKE to jokelist@joker.org
 _/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Hit me again!
Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com
Back to home page...