TO: ALL PERSONNEL
 
       FROM: ACCOUNTING
 
       It has come to our attention recently that many of you have
       been turning in timesheets that specify large amounts of
       "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309).  To our
       department, unproductive time isn't a problem.  What is a
       problem, however, is not knowing exactly what you are doing
       during your unproductive time.
 
       Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job
       code list based on our observations of employee activities.
       The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision
       what you are doing during your unproductive time.  Please begin
       using this job code list immediately and let us know about any
       difficulties you encounter.
 
       Thank you.
 
       The Management
 
                 Attached: Extended Job Code List
                 Code Number Explanation
                 ---------------------
                 5316    Meeting
                 5317    Obstructing Communications at Meeting
                 5318    Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting
                 5319    Waiting for Break
                 5320    Waiting for Lunch
                 5321    Waiting for End of Day
                 5322    Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Co-worker
                 5323    Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Co-worker While
                         Coworker is Not Present
                 5393    Covering for Incompetence of Co-worker Friend
                 5400    Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who is Not
                         Interested in Learning
                 5401    Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who is
                         Stupid
                 5402    Trying to Explain Concept to Co-worker Who Hates
                         You
                 5481    Buying Snack
                 5482    Eating Snack
                 5500    Filling Out Timesheet
                 5501    Inventing Timesheet Entries
                 5502    Waiting for Something to Happen
                 5503    Scratching Yourself
                 5504    Sleeping
                 5510    Feeling Bored
                 5511    Feeling Horny
                 5600    Complaining About Lousy Job
                 5601    Complaining About Low Pay
                 5602    Complaining About Long Hours
                 5603    Complaining About Co-worker (See Codes #5322 &
                 #5323)
                 5604    Complaining About Boss
                 5605    Complaining About Personal Problems
                 5640    Miscellaneous Unproductive
                         Complaining
                 5701    Not Actually Present At Job
                 5702    Suffering From Eight-Hour Flu
                 6102    Ordering Out
                 6103    Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive
                 6104    Taking It Easy While Digesting Food
                 6200    Using Company Resources for Personal Profit
                 6201    Stealing Company Goods
                 6202    Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying
                         Company Goods
                 6203    Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal
                         Calls
                 6204    Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance
                         Personal Calls in Order to Sell Stolen Company
                         Goods
                 6206    Gossip
                 6207    Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding,
                         etc.)
                 6210    Feeling Sorry For Yourself
                 6221    Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching
                 6222    Pretending to Enjoy Your Job
                 6223    Pretending You Like Co-worker
                 6224    Pretending You Like Important People When in
                         Reality They Are Jerks
                 6238    Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing
                 6350    Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl
                 6601    Running Your Own Business on Company Time (See Code
                         #6603)
                 6602    Complaining
                 6603    Writing a Book on Company Time
                 6611    Staring Into Space
                 6612    Staring At Computer Screen
                 6615    Transcendental Meditation
                 7281    Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10
                         minutes)
                 7400    Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone
                 7401    Talking With Plumber on Phone
                 7402    Talking With Dentist on Phone
                 7403    Talking With Doctor on Phone
                 7404    Talking With Masseuse on Phone
                 7405    Talking With House Painter on Phone
                 7406    Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone
                 7419    Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on
                         Phone
                 7931    Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity
                 7940    Trying to Remember All of the Words to the
                         "Gilligan's Island" Theme Song
                 8000    Recreational Drug Use
                 9000    Sending E-Mail Humor on Company Time
                 9001    Reading E-Mail Humor on Company Time
 
 From: Dave

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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