Title: What Men Say vs. What They Mean
 
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      THE TRUTH IS OUT
      
      What Men say...vs...what they mean.....
      
      "I'm hungry" = I'm hungry.
      "I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy.
      "I'm tired" = I'm tired.
      "I've gotta pee" = Get out of the way.
      "I've gotta GO" = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. 
      "Can I call you sometime?"  = I'd eventually like to have sex with 
      you. 
      "Do you want to go to a movie?"  = I'd eventually like to have sex 
      with you.
      "Can I take you out to dinner?"  = I'd eventually like to have sex 
      with you.
      "Can I get your coat?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. 
      "Let me get your door." = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. 
      "May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
 
      "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
      "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you.
 
      "What's wrong?" = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out
 
      of this.
      "What's wrong?" = What meaningless, self-inflicted, psychological 
      trauma are you going through now?
      "What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question. 
      "I'm bored." = Do you want to have sex?
      "I love you." = Let's have sex now.
      "I love you too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! 
      "Good morning." = That was great sex......let's have more!
      "See you later." = That was great sex......let's have more!
      "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before.
 
      "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look 
      that much different!
      "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = For $50 they should have 
      GIVEN you hair!
      "Let's talk."= I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
 deep 
      person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
      "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
 
      with other guys.
      "Will you marry me?" = I might as well get tax benefits for going 
      through these "talks"
      
      While shopping:
      
      "Yes, that one's nice" = Why do you ask when you aren't going to 
      listen anyway?
      "That one looks great on you" = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go
 
      home!
      "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go
 home! 
      "Uh huh" = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
      "I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together." = I am 
      gay.
      
      *****************
      Okay, equal time ... here's a shot at the women
      
      Women's Talk:  What she says and what she REALLY means!"
      
      "We need" = I want!
      "It's your decision" = The correct decision should be obvious by
 now! 
      "Do what you want" = You'll pay for this later!
      "We need to talk" = I need to complain!
      "Sure... go ahead" = I don't want you to do that.
      "You're so ... manly" = You need a shave and you smell of sweat. 
      "I'm not upset" = Of course I'm upset, you moron.
      "The gas tank is empty" = Go fill it up. 
      "The trash is full" = Take it out
      "I want new curtains" = and carpeting, and furniture, and
 wallpaper... 
      "I need wedding shoes" = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of 
      white. 
      "I heard a noise" = I noticed you were almost asleep.
      "Do you love me?" = I'm going to ask for something expensive. 
      "Nothing is wrong." = Everything is wrong.
      "Am I fat?" = Tell me I'm beautiful.
      "Are you listening!?" = Too late, you're dead.
      "Are you cold?" = Get out of bed and close the window! 
      "I'm NOT angry" = I'm pissed!
      "The dog is barking" = Go outside in the rain in your underwear and 
      see what is wrong.
      "You're certainly attentive tonight." = Is sex all you that ever
 think 
      about?
      "I'm not emotional and I'm not overreacting!" = I'm having my
 period. 
      "Be romantic and turn out the lights." = I have fat thighs.
      "This kitchen is so inconvenient" = I want a new house.
      "How much do you love me?" = I did something today you're really not
 
      going to like.
      "I don't want to talk about it." = Go away, I'm still building up 
      steam. 
      "I'll be ready in a minute." = Take off your shoes and find a good 
      football game on T.V.
      "You have to learn to communicate." = Just agree with me.
      "What do you think of my new hair style?" = Say it's beautiful - if 
      you value your life.
      "Tell me the truth about my new dress." = Lie through your teeth
      
     
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 From: Ray

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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