If you are ever travelling in Arabia, you may find it useful to know
 these simple phrases.  For the sake of the Islam nation, be it known that 
 only 2% of the population belongs to the radical extremist faction of the 
 religion who are responsible for all the terrorism.  Most Muslims are very 
 nice people, I'm sure.  Remember, this is only a joke...
 
 ***********************************************************
         -=-     USEFUL PHRASES TO KNOW WHEN  -=-
                 TRAVELLING IN MOSLEM AREAS:
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOTFAN.
 
     Thank you for showing me your marvelous gun.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 FEKR GABUL CRADAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR.
 
     I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie on the
     floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE.
 
     I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 AUTO ARREREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH HAST.
 
     It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in
     the trunk of your car.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA
 JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN.
 
     If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital
     appendages  I will glady reciprocate by betraying my country
     in public.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEH AMERIKAHEY.
 
     I will tell you the names and addresses of many American
     spies travelling as reporters.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 BALLI, BALLI, BALLI !
 
     Whatever you say!
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLEIEH, GHORBAN.
 
     The red blindfold will be lovely, excellency.
 ---------------------------------------------------------
 TIEKH NUNEH OB KHRELEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST INO BEGERAM.
 
     The water-soaked bread crumbs are delicious, thank you.
     I must have the recipe.

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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