Dos Beer:
 Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read the
 directions carefully before opening the can. Originally only came in 8-oz.
 can, but now comes in a 16-oz. can. However the can is divided into 8
 compartments of 2-oz. each, which have to be accessed separately. Soon to
 be discontinued, although a lot of people are going to keep drinking it
 after it is no longer available.
 
 Mac Beer:
 At first, came only in a 16-oz. can, but now comes in a 32-oz.can.
 Considered by many to be a "light" beer. All the cans look identical. When
 you take one from the fridge, it opens itself. The ingredients list is not
 on the can. If you call to ask about the ingredients, you are told that
 "you don't need to know." A notice on the side reminds you to drag your
 empties to the trash can.
 
 Windows 3.1 Beer:
 The world's most popular. Comes in a 16-oz. can that looks a lot like Mac
 Beer's. Requires that you already own a DOS Beer. Claims that it allows you
 to drink several DOS Beers simultaneously, but in reality you can only
 drink a few of them, very slowly, especially slowly if you are drinking a
 Windows Beer at the same time. Sometimes, for no 
 apparent reason, a can of Windows Beer will explode when you open it.
 
 Windows '95 Beer:
 The can looks a lot like Mac Beer's can, but taste more like windows 3.1
 Beer. It comes in 32-oz. cans, but when you look inside, the cans only have
 16-oz. of beer in them. Most people will probably keep drinking Windows 3.1
 Beer until their friends try Windows '95 Beer and say they like it. The
 ingredients list, when you look at the small 
 print, has some of the same ingredients that come in DOS Beer, even though
 the manufacturer claims that this is an entirely new brew.
 
 Windows NT Beer:
 Comes in 32-oz. cans, but you can only buy it by the truck-load. This
 causes most people to have to go out and buy bigger refrigerators. The can
 looks just like Windows 3.1 Beers, But the company promises to change the
 can to look just like the Window's '95 Beer. Touted as an "industrial
 strength" beer, and suggested only for use in bars.
 
 From: Greg

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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