As many people have probably heard by now, Bill Gates built a new
 home, a VERY large home, 35 garages, several buildings and so on. 
 However, the problems he's had with the house are much less known.  
 The following is an excerpt from a conversation Bill had with his new
 home contracters:   
 
 Bill: There are a few issues we need to discuss   
 
 Contractor: Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for
 the first 90 days and a $75 call thereafter. Okay?   
 
 Bill: Uh, yeah. The first issue is the living room. We think it's a
 little smaller than we anticipated.   
 
 Contractor: Yeah, some compromises were made to have it out by the
 release date.   
 
 Bill: We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there.   
 
 Contractor: Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, 
 larger living room. Or you can use a stacker.   
 
 Bill: Stacker?
 
 Contractor: Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into
 the living room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment
 center on the couch, the chairs on the table, etc. You leave an empty
 spot, so that when you want to use some furniture, you can unstack
 what you need and put it back when you're done.
 
 Bill: Uh, I dunno... Issue two. The second issue is the light 
 fixtures.  The light bulbs we brought with us from our old house don't
 fit.  The threads run the wrong way.   
 
 Contractor: Oh, that's a feature!  The bulbs you have aren't plug and
 play.  You'll have to upgrade to new bulbs.   
 
 Bill: And the electrical outlets?  The holes are round instead of
 rectangular.  How do I fix that?   
 
 Contractor: That's another feature designed with the customer in
 mind.  Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system.   
 
 Bill: You're kidding!?!   
 
 Contractor: Nope, it's the only way.   
 
 Bill:   (Sighing) Well, I have one last problem. Sometimes when I have
 guests, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water
 pressure drops so low that the showers don't work.   
 
 Contractor: That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing
 to terminate and is hogging the resource, preventing other fixtures
 from accessing.   
 from accessing.
 
 Bill: And how do I fix that?
 
 Contractor: Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house,
 turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house.
 Then you can get back to work.   
 
 Bill: That's the last straw! What kind of product are you selling me?
 
 Contractor: Hey, if you don't like it, nobody made you buy it.
 
 Bill: And when will it be fixed?
 
 Contractor: Oh, in the next house, which we'll be ready to release
 next year.  Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some
 delays...   Sound familiar.....
 
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Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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