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 I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous
 and give the wrong answers.
 
 Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
 
 I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
 because I hate plants.
 
 A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
 rearranging their prejudices.
 
 The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words,
 there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but
 government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
 
 Half of the people in the world are below average.
 
 There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the
 streets?
 
 I still miss my ex-husband, but my aim is getting better.
 
 If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an
 infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even
 considering if there are men on base.
 
 Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
 
 Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake
 when you make it again.
 
 On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
 
 Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think
 Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
 2. Advising the President.
 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.
 -- David Letterman
 
 Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of
 Congress. But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain
 
 Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they
 don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the
 world.
 Hobbes: Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?
 
 Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET (Korea):
 For best results: Wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron with
 warm iron.
 For not so good results: Drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on
 roofrack.
 
 The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. --
 Salvador Dali
 
 The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be
 when you kill them. -- William Clayton
 
 When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an
 important lesson to be learned: Do not have sex with the authorities.
 
 From: Tammy

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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