THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
 AGE        DRINK
 17         beer
 25         beer
 35         vodka
 48         double vodka
 66         Maalox
 
 SEDUCTION LINE
 17         My parents are away for the weekend.
 25         My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
 35         My fiancee is away for the weekend.
 48         My wife is away for the weekend.
 66         My second wife is dead.
 
 FAVORITE SPORT
 17         sex
 25         sex
 35         sex
 48         sex
 66         napping
 
 DRUG
 17         pot
 25         coke
 35         really good coke
 48         power
 66         coke, a limousine, the company jet
 
 DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
 17         "tongue"
 25         "breakfast"
 35         "She didn't set back my therapy."
 48         "I didn't have to meet her kids."
 66         "Got home alive."
 
 FAVORITE FANTASY
 17         getting to third
 25         airplane sex
 35         menage a trois
 48         taking the company public
 66         Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
 
 HOUSE PET
 17         roaches
 25         stoned-out college roommate
 35         Irish setter
 48         children from his first marriage
 66         Barbi
 
 WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
 17         25
 25         35
 35         48
 48         66
 66         17
 
 IDEAL DATE
 17         Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
 25         "Split the check before we go back to my place"
 35         "Just come over."
 48         "Just come over and cook."
 66         sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas. >>>>
 
 THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
 AGE        DRINK
 17         Wine Coolers
 25         White wine
 35         Red wine
 48         Dom Perignon
 66         Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
 
 EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
 17         Need to wash my hair
 25         Need to need wash and condition my hair
 35         Need to color my hair
 48         Need to have Francois color my hair
 66         Need to have Francois color my wig
 
 FAVORITE SPORT
 17         shopping
 25         shopping
 35         shopping
 48         shopping
 66         shopping
 
 DRUG
 17         shopping
 25         shopping
 35         shopping
 48         shopping
 66         shopping
 
 DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
 17         "Burger King"
 25         "Free meal"
 25         "Free meal"
 35         "A diamond"
 48         "A bigger diamond"
 66         "Home Alone"
 
 FAVORITE FANTASY
 17         tall, dark and handsome
 25         tall, dark and handsome with money
 35         tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
 48         a man with hair
 66         a man
 
 HOUSE PET
 17         Muffy the cat
 25         Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
 35         Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
 48         Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
 66         Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs >>
 
     Muffy the Cat
 WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
 17         17
 25         25
 35         35
 48         48
 66         66
 
 IDEAL DATE
 17         He offers to pay
 25         He pays
 35         He cooks breakfast the next morning
 48         He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
 66          He can chew breakfast
 
 From: Aviv

Wil Stark, wstark04 (at) pobox _dot_com

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