history3

We need to backtrack a little here, to introduce a character that will become a key ally and friend. As it turns out, Bob didn’t ditch all of the graduation ceremonies. On the last day, Andres Duarte School commandeered a bus and transported the graduatees to the prestigious Moonlight Rollerway in beautiful downtown Pasadena. The school bus driver’s name was Vic. Vic was a friendly dude, graying at the temples and sported a modest gray beard. Vic’s bus was an old 1948 Ford, built like a tank.

Vic took after me. A wire harness ran above the seats, stretching all the way back on both sides of the bus. Connected above every 3^rd seat was a bare, naked speaker. The speakers were of varying sizes and shapes, obviously cannibalized from other radios. Some were dented; others had holes in the paper cone. They were anchored to the wall by various make-shift brackets, and the gyrations of the bus on the road made the speakers shimmy and shake. The 6 Volt radio was taken from a Cadillac. Radios back then had mechanical vibrators that buzzed in order to step up the high voltage needed to power the vacuum tubes. Hey kids, it took up to a minute for the tubes to warm up before you heard any music!

And what was Ol’ Vic’s radio tuned to? Of course, KFWB! I can’t say the fidelity was anything to write home about, and even a Cadillac radio has problems powering 10 speakers all at once. But prominent in the playlist was Bobby Rydell’s “I’ve Got Bonnie” Bob’s Depressing Jazz Favorite “Midnight In Moscow” (does that mean Bob's a commie?) and an oldie: “My Heart Sings” by Paul Anka.

Unfortunately, we had to leave the bus and go to the roller rink. Couldn’t we just stay on the bus and listen to the radio? I entered the rink and scratched my head. Do I really want to try this? And anyway, ain’t skating something that girls do on sidewalks?

Bob and I ended up at the snack bar. For 2 solid hours we were at the snack bar. That’s 2 solid hours of soda & potato chips, or in Bob’s case, dry Cheerios right outta the box. My stomach began to complain!

Moonlight had a pretty good sound system, but unfortunately, the only rock record they had was “Twisting Matilda” by Jimmy Soul. Everything else was organ music by Merv Griffin’s un-authorized and little known offspring, Ken Griffin. Some Waltz stuff too. I’m sure Bob enjoyed it immensely. If only he could lay horizontal.

Q: What is pirate radio?	A: That is a Radio Station that is not licensed by the FCC
Q: Who operates pirate radio stations?	A: Usually Kids, who grow out of it when they get older.
Q: Why do they do it?	A: They don’t like what they’re hearing, and think they can do better.
Q: Do pirate stations interfere with existing stations?	A: Not intentionally, but our favorite interference story is a recent FM operation in Sacramento. Someone told the kid that for best range, his broadcast antenna should be as high as possible. He interpreted that by going onto his roof with a directional antenna array and pointed it upwards to the sky. He didn’t do very well at covering his neighborhood, but he sure did great at communicating with planes that happened to be flying overhead! Yup, he didn’t last too long!! But this story is an exception. Most stations do not interfere, and hardly any pirate operator has ever interfered intentionally.
Q: What is the penalty for broadcasting without a license?	A: $10,000 fine, 3 years prison. Recently they upped the maximum fine to $75,000. Inflation, you know.
Q: How much does it cost to get a license and put a legal station on the air?	A: Hey buddy…got a spare $100,000.00? There have been many stations built on a shoestring budget. For instance, using a tree as an antenna tower may save you a good $700.00. Used equipment will save ya a few thousand. But the bulk of the cost goes to your lawyer. How can this be? Under FCC rules, when you apply for a license, the FCC prints an ad, seeking OTHER interested parties. This means some religious group from New York can file a petition with the FCC asking for YOUR license, stating they can serve your community better than you can. Also, existing licensed stations can file a petition for the FCC to deny your license, because it takes away from their profit. In some cases, bribing the all the corporations who filed the petitions will make them go away. Usual cost: $50,000.00. If one holds on, then you get your $500.00 per hour FCC attorney to fight on your behalf. Usual cost: $50,000.00 or higher.
Q: What’s the penalty most people get for shooting methamphetamine up their arm with a hypodermic needle, stealing a car, and racing through the streets at 100mph before they crash into a tree?	A: Nominal 3 years prison, no fine.
Q: What’s the penalty a California man is paying because he officially helped the city of Oakland grow Medical Marijuana for people in pain?	A: 85 years. See, things could be worse!
Q: Are there any local frequencies that are open these days?	A: A great ploy that licensed stations are doing now is setting up repeaters. Here locally, KRCB and a host of other FM’s can be heard on 2 frequencies, channels that could be better utilized for low power alternative programming. The guys with the license figure, if all the local channels are tied up with repeaters, hey…less competition! And they won’t stop until all channels are tied up.
Q: What ever happened to the low power station we were supposed to get here on the river?	A: The NAB lobbied your elected officials (mostly Republicans). That put heat on the FCC to dismiss many applications. The river one hasn’t been dismissed, but the FCC is, and will continue to drag their feet, which pleases the NAB immensely, and gives your elected much more money under (or over) the table! There is word, however, that they will be working on more low power applications soon. And incidentally, a tip o' the Duke&Banner hat to our Own Engineer Randy for doing the paperwork on this!
Q: What about these low power broadcast toys that I see advertised from time to time?	A: Way back in 1934 when the FCC was first formed, it approved a rule that allowed super low power stations to be operated without a license. If you were lucky, the 1/10^th of a watt transmitter carried a readable signal all the way to your next-door neighbor.
Q: Are there ways to make it broadcast further?	A: Yes, you can “soup it up” and add a longer antenna or a larger battery. FCC rules state that the antenna can’t be more than 10 feet tall. A company that makes a professional unit found a loophole. If you locate your transmitter on a metal billboard sign, there is no limit on how tall your billboard sign can be (in Sonoma County) (if you bribe your supervisor) In theory, your 10 foot antenna could be 30 feet in the air. Tests have detected readable signals up to a mile away. A high-rise office building may also work.
Q: But isn’t this a First Amendment free speech issue?	A: The FCC website is packed with useless and archaic information. They hide behind a 60 year-old Supreme Court decision if you bring up the idea of actually licensing pirates, instead of putting them in prison. Way back in 1934, the NBC Radio Network in New York wanted to build and own stations coast to coast. The FCC denied the NBC request, and it went all the way to the Supreme Court, with NBC losing. Free speech, it ruled, is not a First Amendment right, due to the limited number of channels available. But in 1969 the Supremes issued an interesting ruling, and this is a direct quote: “No one has a first amendment right to an FCC license or to monopolize a radio frequency.” Hmmpf, Clear Channel Corporation ain’t a monopoly?

Funny how things work out, but very few people who I met at Andres Duarte Elementary School continued on with me in High School. And since Bob was one of the very few, I kept close to him on Lunch Breaks and school activities. He wasn’t hard for other people to notice---he was one of 3 who carried overstuffed briefcases. Once as we passed in a crowded hall, He was going East, I was going West. That put me on the receiving end of his “briefcase.” Hit me right in the stomach. From then on, it was called a “suitcase.”

Now, let’s be honest here: Everybody in the school had lockers. That’s what lockers were made for. To hold books. Of the other 2 students who carried suitcases, one was destined to become a higher up in a “Holy Roller” church, just like his Dad. The other was a Black guy. Let’s just say that one look and you knew his sexual orientation. He wore a suit and tie to school…everyday.

And then there’s Bob. Of the 3 suitcases mentioned, he had by far, the biggest and heaviest one. Besides, the other 2 never hit me with their “instrument.”

And so as summer approached, I made a decision. Yup, while most kids were looking forward to camping, swimming, going on a date, stealing hubcaps…yours truly was dreaming up ways to communicate Brook Benton to a larger audience.

Bob’s house was located about a mile away, and I figured, this would be a good location to try. If I could get a signal to him, I would be very content.

My Mom also cooperated. One tool that comes in handy when plotting signals is a transistor radio. We did not have one, but my Mom had all of these S&H Green stamp books saved up. When you bought groceries, the store would give you a dozen or so stamps. Each book held about 1,000 stamps and took about 6 months to fill. She had a whopping 30 books! The Arvin AM-only radio with a real leather case sold for 26 books. It was mine, all mine!

I took a look at one problem with my transmitter: no antenna. At least, the 6-foot length of wire taped to the kitchen ceiling was not anything to write home about. Bringing the rig out to the garage, I started to scope things out. I found a long piece of discarded water pipe, drilled 2 holes in it, and mounted it onto an old 2X4. I attached a wire. Total antenna height was now a skyscraping 12 feet! I also increased the voltage going to the one-tube oscillator. Oh my! Do I hear sirens coming my way?

And so I loaded a dozen 45’s onto my clunky Voice Of Music record changer and took a walk down my street. For the first time in my life, I was all alone to wander and hear my station. Previous to the Arvin, I had to either wait for my Dad to drive his car down the road, or bang on a neighbor’s door and ask them to turn on their radio.

The improvements showed promise. I found myself a full block away under the huge neon sign at the Supreme Drive-In Diary, located on Route 66, Huntington Drive. I treated myself to an ice cream cone and turned up the volume to hear the first bars of “It’s Just A Matter Of Time” by Brook Benton. “New station!” I boasted to the cashier, who gave me a thumbs up.

On the last day of my wonderful freshman year at Duarte High, Ray Charles had just pushed Mr. Acker Bilk’s “Stranger On The Shore” out of the number 1 slot. The new number one was “I Can’t Stop Loving You” but I think I identified with the flip side: “Born To Lose.” Many a Federal prisoner has this tattooed somewhere on their body.

**Bald Eagle Wilkie**
	I should say that I was getting to know Mr. Wilkinson on a first-name basis. But Bald Eagle was my nick-name for him. Bald Eagle had a shaver. If you were late for school or missed a day, you went by his Attendance Office for a Hall Pass. But Bald EagleWilkie didn’t like me, apparently jealous that I was part Italian. I had 5 o’clock shadow at 8AM. And so the Attendance Supervisor was also the Unofficial Grooming Supervisor. Frequently I was ushered into his office to use his dull, worn out electric shaver against my will!

On the last day of school as I walked home, I made a vow. I decided to grow whatever peach fuzz I could grow during summer vacation. It was the principle of the thing (no pun intended) They wanted me to conform to their standards, and were willing to take notice of a little stubble, yet unwilling to notice my greatest accomplishments---actually graduating English and History.

History…now there’s another useless subject! If you go back to the Civil War, the history books will tell you it was fought over Southern Christian desire to keep “Negroes” as slaves. They quoted bible phrases to prove their hatred was justified. Since then, Southern Christian Fundys continue to raise hell against Blacks. It may not be as organized as it was, but it’s still there. A newer target these days is Gays, along with a new list of bible quotes. But just what benefit is there in 8 years of history lessons and the memorizing battle dates? I didn't enter High School to win on an episode of Jeopardy!

Apparently our Prez was not too good at History either. He thinks the Muslim religious majority will just bow down and accept everybody as equals. Hey, George…I hate to tell you this, but the Muslim Fundys over there in Iraq are already quoting bible phrases!

Apparently the Prez also missed out on American History: The Roaring Twenties. With Booze outlawed, organized crime took over cities, shooting and killing lots of innocent bystanders. Today, we find Black and Mexican gangs getting rich and shooting up towns in pretty much the same way. It ain't safe in that streets and as long as the Feds continue to outlaw drugs, they're financing these violent drug gangs.

We can’t close out this chapter with mentioning Earl “Madman” Muntz, who used mental illness as a sales gimmick. He created a Napoleonic logo, a brainstorm that came over him while watching an old movie about a lunatic asylum.

And I have to bow to the power of the internet. My God, there's a whole Mad Man Muntz Web Ring out there. Hundreds of websites linked together, all devoted to Muntz!

Though I actually met Muntz one afternoon in a TV repair shop that I was working in, I never knew he started with cars. As it turns first out, Muntz's first gig was in 1949 as a used car dealer in Los Angeles. He was the original fast-talking, flamboyant car dealer that others patterned themselves after. Using his Napoleon logo, he would run saturated radio ads and in local newspapers. In the early 50's he was the first to do live TV ads with deranged phrases like “I want to give them away, but my wife won’t let me. She’s nuts” or “I buy ‘em Retail and sell ‘em Wholesale. What’s wrong with that?” or “If you don’t buy this car today, I’ll take a sledgehammer to it. You better make me an offer before it's too late.”

Muntz also built new cars. The Muntz Jet was started in 1951 at a Gardena warehouse. Using Cadillac parts, including a 331 cubic inch V8, the custom sports car was clocked at 142.5MPH at a local speedway. At $5500.00, only Hollywood celebrities had enough money to buy it. But the extra available options were not found on any other car. How about a Liquor Bar Ice Box located in the driver’s side armrest? How about a Muntz TV mounted in the dashboard? How about a Wire Recorder? (Before there was tape, there was wire) How about colors like “Heliotrope” or “Chartreuse?” How about upholstery fabrics made out of Snake Skin? Emu? Alligator? (Or, here’s something to scare the PETA folks) How about a dashboard padded with Leopard Skin? Actor Cary Grant was the first to own one, followed quickly by his next-door neighbor Betty Davis.

Unfortunately Muntz lost about $1,000.00 with every Jet he sold, and so in 1954, he stopped production and filed for bankruptcy. It is estimated that there are currently 49 Muntz Jets out there, from a total of 394 that were produced.

Muntz was also a pioneer in electronics. Back in ’58, most TV screens were not over 14 inches. Muntz changed that with a flurry of ads on KFWB. The new Muntz-O-Matic was the first TV with a huge 21 inch Black&White picture tube, housed in a “luxurious” mahogany cabinet for a price that rivaled the major brands.

How did he do it? A quick look at the schematic will tell you. He had engineers design simple circuits of questionable quality. Wherever he could delete a part, he did. For instance, while virtually every set made at the time had a two-stage vertical deflection circuit, he had the competition scratching their heads on his one-stage, one-tube design. Price wise, compared to today’s standards, even the Muntz was expensive: $180.00. But these days we use Chinese slaves to give us cheap stuff.

Muntz also designed the first tape cartridge. In 1958, he built the first car stereo, a 4-track tape cartridge. He got a patent on it. Afterwards, he went to many a record company for music, most agreed, except Columbia. Columbia liked the idea, but didn’t want to pay royalties to Muntz, so they devised the 8-track tape cartridge. A cheap knockoff, one big problem surfaced: While Muntz’s 4-track used a high-quality rubber pinch roller; Columbia’s 8-track had a slippery plastic pinch roller. This resulted in all sorts of audio problems, and the 8-track eventually died.

Muntz came up with more ideas: Automatic Cueing 4 track machines, Continuous Loop, and Data-Enhanced 4 track machines. By the mid 60's, the Auto Cueing machines found themselves a home in virtually every radio station in the country. Stations used them for commercials. By the late 60's, many stations were also using carts to hold songs. They didn't wear out and get scratchy! A few stations still use them today, though the computer has finally taken over. KBBF had 3 of them in use in 2002.

The Data-Enhanced found its way into places like Disneyland; where one tape contains not only the voice track, but also controls mouth movement, hand movements, etc.

But the one word that defined Muntz, at least on our peanut-whistle broadcast station, was cheap. As we go deeper into Duke&Banner history, you'll find us singing on the air the Muntz TV Jingle, which also played on KFWB: "The price so low, it's almost free....from M-U-N-T-Z"

And I cannot close this chapter without a mention of Bob’s classic car, a 1948 Hudson Super Commodore Eight. That's a flat-head, straight eight. Takes a big hood to cover it. In its heyday, Bob took notice of its excellent(?) condition: The engine leaked oil like a sieve; the gas tank was folowing suit; the brakes were dying; as was the battery, and the tires were bald. You always knew where the Hud was, just follow the oil trail. Sorta like a Harley, but on a more massive scale.

Bob kept a case of cheap, off-brand 40-weight oil in the trunk, along with a plastic funnel for easy oil refills. He still has the funnel. It was red, but now it's totally black from all the oil.

**Hud Leaking Oil After The Final Ride**
	H U D S O N H O T E L

Bob’s Dad took the car over to my house one summer afternoon in ’63. Bob was in the back seat. That may have been the last time it ran. From then on, it became the “Hudson Hotel.” Permanently parked in an alley and unbeknownst to the cops, it served as a convenient place to house the drunken contingent of Bob’s friends and family, of which there were many. Hope you don't mind the cig butts on the floor. Oh, no! You didn't step in the vomit from last night, did you?!

It sorta explains Bob today. The 7 watt lightbulb that lights his entire house matches the amount of light that he grew up with, waiting in a dark, sleasy bar for his Pa to finish "business." Looks like a gangster car to me.Where's Bogart?