Zathras' Great Machine

Thank you! Out of all the folks I know, you are THE ONLY ONE who remembers Big Blue Marble!!!!!!

The new Zoom sucks. It's too loud - it doesn't have that weird-ass all black set either.

Dude - I am tellin' ya right now, the next time the shit hits the fan, right before you get laid off, DONT HELP THEM!!! That'll show 'em...

Freelance counsultin' ya say? Maybe ya need a website to promote it? ;)

"Dude - I am tellin' ya right now, the next time the shit hits the fan, right before you get laid off, DONT HELP THEM!!! That'll show 'em..."

*shouting* YES YES YES! */shouting*

Actually, my style is more the sort that would quietly blow the setup for every conference through July, then fail to show up AT each one.

Sorry, getting carried away with not being the only one around here that isn't a Nice Person, after so many months of Let's See If The Job Will Destroy The Relationship...

My condolences about your job. I guess now you have lots of time to study for certification, and perhaps learn linux.

I was laid off myself a few years ago. It was so nice to have free time.

From what I have seen, consulting rates are generally 2 to 4 times salaried employees doing the same thing :)

As tempting as that is -- and believe me, it is -- it's the kind of thing that comes back to haunt you. You have to think of your reputation if you want to advance your career in the future.

Don't think for one second, though, that I haven't had fantasies about doing something like that. I have. A *lot* of them.

And who can blame ya at this point?

also - the co. may not make a good ref. esp. considering there may not be a company left to give you one.

WTF - you know folks, I'm seein' too many people I know struggle and suffer. Makes me very pissed off...

I saw the best minds of my generation
destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical!

"also - the co. may not make a good ref. esp. considering there may not be a company left to give you one."

Yes, that's one of my thoughts too. Hard to get a good ref -- or *any* ref -- under those circumstances.

"WTF - you know folks, I'm seein' too many people I know struggle and suffer. Makes me very pissed off..."

Yeah, me too...and being pissed off is a huge waste of energy we could be using to improve the world. It's like a concept I heard about several years ago -- Energy Vampire.

Too many NRG vampires out there, and that;s a good point. It takes too much NRG to be pisssed off nowadays

"Too many NRG vampires out there, and that;s a good point. It takes too much NRG to be pisssed off nowadays"

I remember when things that made me angry used to invigorate me. Now they just make me tired and irritable. I think it's time to pick up a hobby of some kind, volunteer, read more books, watch more movies, focus on learning new things... I don't want to be in the position of having to take anti-anxiety drugs just to stay in contact with people.

Anger is an emotion. What you do with it is up to you.

Me? I try to use it to my own benefit - esp. when it comes to writing about things.

I'm sorry, but I had to re-read your original post three times. Do you have a backbone? Seems like they've used you and now you're so whipped you're cleaning up the corporate vomit they've spewed all over you. Most new employers don't bother to check refs, esp. in IT (I should know) and to be honest, they should recognize that since they're letting you go that you need to find something more stable. You've got a college degree and lots of experience don't ya? Get a job where you're respected and maybe you'll learn to respect yourself.

"Anger is an emotion. What you do with it is up to you."

My problem is that when I'm angry, it's so specifically directed at the cause that I can't focus on anything else. I'm the sort of person that if something bothers me, I'll be up all night racking my brain for solutions. A bit like your thing about talking about the ex -- you know you're not "supposed" to but can't quite help having your brain turn that way. :~(

*reads MissI's post*
Wow, someone more blunt than I am. I'm jealous.

(No, I don't know who she is either...it's not me, I can say that much. I wouldn't used "whipped" and "vomit" in the same sentence as that makes me think of puke frappuccino...)

I third Miss I's post - whoever the heck she is.

And yes - everything you said Moggy is what happens to me too - it's a human emotion though. I've come to realize that.

and speaking of which, I did talk to my ex tonite on the phone and had a good conversation with her. Starting to look like what I thought last month was VERY wrong (except the whole "jerk for dumping me" part - um, kinda - thats another story).

agh - too many long stories.

Iiiiiiiiii'm happpy - hope yer happppeee tooo

*looks around stealthily*

So, any bets that Parrish will be shocked when he reads his blog comments in the morning?

*ducks behind something solid to avoid missile objects*

> Do you have a backbone?

Backbone? One of us is hiding behind anonymity, and one of us is not... who are you, anyway?

As to my current employer and what it "seems" like I'm doing, well, if I had any "fun and games" planned for my departure -- hypothetically speaking, of course -- you don't think I'd be foolish enough to talk about it in a public venue, do you?

> Most new employers don't bother to check refs

That used to be the case, but it's changing these days.

> Get a job where you're respected and maybe
> you'll learn to respect yourself.

Glad to see you know me so well as to say that I have no self-respect, especially considering that the other comments you've made in my blog indicate you know absolutely nothing about me at all.

You are a guest on my blog. Please either conduct yourself accordingly or refrain from posting.

> Wow, someone more blunt than I am. I'm jealous.

Don't be. It's easy to be a jerk when you're hiding behind the mask of anonymity. Doing it openly is another matter.

"Don't be. It's easy to be a jerk when you're hiding behind the mask of anonymity"

Was I being a jerk? Sorry, just calling it as I (and apparently several others) see it. In truth, I'm no more anonymous that you and since I'm just a reader, my anonymity is nearly as pressing as that of the author in my mind. It doesn't really matter who I am anyway. All I did was make a comment. You on the other hand...

But just for kicks, My name is Cassandra, I live in Long Beach, California with my husband and 7 year old daughter who potentially has Asperger's syndrome. I graduated from Stanford and worked in Silcon Valley for several years before moving down here. I found your site a few weeks back from a link on your girlfriend's website after doing a searches about Aspergers. I love American Idol (hence the log in name -- anyone get it?)How's that for a bio?

"Glad to see you know me so well as to say that I have no self-respect, especially considering that the other comments you've made in my blog indicate you know absolutely nothing about me at all."

Actually, you're right. I don't know you. All I know for certain is what you say about yourself on your blog and what others say about you. From what I gather between your girlfriend's blog and your own is that you tend to think extremely highly of yourself and place yourself and your own interests above others in your life. Sadly, this esteem/ego/overcompesation for something else doesn't seem to extend your relationship with your supervisors. You're selling yourself short and letting those people use you, IMHO.

> Was I being a jerk? Sorry, just calling it as
> I (and apparently several others) see it.

Yes, you were being a jerk. And "calling it like you see it" is a privilege, not a right, especially when you're on someone's private blog space. Denise and Shaw, being people I'm close to, are entitled to tell me off if they think I'm doing something wrong (even then, however, I tend to frown when they do it publicly). You, however, have no such privilege, publicly *or* privately. For you to have that privilege, you would have to be someone that I know and respect, and you are neither of those things, at least not yet. That may change, of course, depending on the course of future events.

I don't want American Idol, so no, I didn't get the reference. I do wonder, though, how it is that someone who graduated from an institution as prestigious as Stanford doesn't even know how to spell "independent". (OK, cheap shot. Sorry. I couldn't resist.)

Finally, returning to your original comment about "backbone" -- well, if you suspect that your daughter has Asperger Syndrome (as I do), then you may want to learn more about it. Passivity and lack of self-assertiveness are common symptoms -- nearly universal, in fact -- for people with ASDs (autistic spectrum disorders). I might also add, btw, that very few autistics are even capable of holding jobs at all. I don't have statistics for the United States, but in the United Kingdom, 92% of all diagnosed "Aspies" are unemployed -- and Asperger Syndrome is supposedly one of the *milder* forms of autism. I'm one of the fortunate few who's capable of holding a job at all -- and at that, even I have certain needs.

All of these are things that you should probably start learning about now, especially since your daughter is now of school age, and if she is indeed on the autistic spectrum, you're going to have a *lot* of special challenges -- the school years are typically very difficult for autistic children, mainly because of the way other schoolchildren treat them.

Denise and I both belong to several autistic discussion groups on Yahoo! Groups. If you'll drop either one of us a line, we can recommend some good ones for you to join. Having other people, both parents of autistics and adult autistics, would probably be a great benefit to you.

> From what I gather between your girlfriend's
> blog and your own is that you tend to think
> extremely highly of yourself and place
> yourself and your own interests above others in
> your life.

Two things:

1) Again: learn more about autism. Self-centeredness is an extremely common trait, and is in fact part of where the term comes from, "autism" deriving from the root "auto-", meaning self.

2) In fact, when it's someone I care about, I do give the person high priority in my life -- Denise will tell you that I work very hard to be sensitive to her needs and to be caring and supportive (how good I actually am at it, I don't know, but I definitely deserve an "A" for effort). However, thoughtfulness and consideration are also a two-way street, and I don't extend it to people who don't extend it to me.

OK, one more: regarding my job -- one of the reasons I'm still in this job is that job hunting, even under ideal conditions, is exceptionally difficult for autistics. And the current climate hardly qualifies as "ideal conditions".

"Yes, you were being a jerk. And "calling it like you see it" is a privilege, not a right"

Actually, you're wrong based on the constitution of our own country. "Calling it like you see it" is protected by the First Amendment. It doesn't make a person popular, true, but it *is* a right in the USA (as long as the person isn't yelling "FIRE" in a crowded building or somesuch), and imho free speech is the most important right by far.

"Passivity and lack of self-assertiveness are common symptoms -- nearly universal, in fact -- for people with ASDs (autistic spectrum disorders)."

Er. No, they're not. The passivity/lack of assertiveness are only common in one sub-set -- there are others like Amanda, Frank, myself, my friend K, Larry Lyons, Larry Arnold, etc. that are *far* from your kind. Please don't give parents the impression that we're *all* like that; I can't speak for anyone else, but I find that inference fairly insulting.

"In fact, when it's someone I care about, I do give the person high priority in my life..."

Note that his sub-type of autistic only gives others he cares about high priority IF it will not require him to be non-passive. For example, a flamewar between some very prejudiced NTs and an autistic recently erupted on a list that we're both on. I almost immediately leapt into the fray to stand up for my friend, and deleted the list when the bigots wouldn't STFU. I'm the "aggressive" autistic subtype, so this came naturally. Parrish, on the other hand, is the passive subtype, so he didn't say anything regardless of whether it was our friend or his partner being attacked. Trust me, the "high priority" only applies as long as he doesn't have to be non-passive towards someone else.

I could make many other examples, but he's going to be pissed off at me for being honest here as it is, so I'm going to go have a chai instead. :)

> "Calling it like you see it" is protected by
> the First Amendment.

That's a common misconception; private property rights actually override First Amendment protections, and this blog is private property.

> (as long as the person isn't yelling "FIRE" in
> a crowded building or somesuch)

In fact, you *can* yell "FIRE" in a crowded building if the building is, in fact, on fire. That's another common misconception.

> there are others... that are *far* from your
> kind.

I'm not sure I agree with that, but I'll concede the point.

So much to talk about here. First off, you're very, very lucky to have friends. period. Second of all, I'd echo Moggy and add that the one thing I've learned about the autistic spectrum that seems to be universal is that it is indeed a spectrum. My daughter (and from what I can tell, your girlfriend) have no problems being assertive except when someone can't handle it or pretends not to be able to do so.

As for the "misspelling," that's my daughter. She loves Kelly Clarkson from American Idol and uses that as her online identity. I thought it was cute so I sometimes use it. Admittedly, still not spelling perfectly, but the little difference reminds me of her. Of course, being someone educated in philosophy, you'd know about the importance of symbolism in liguistic expression, particularly for those who are virtually subaltern in public space (like my daughter).

Still, the thing that bothers me most is that you speak for other people in your post -- specifically your girlfriend. She seems more than capable (actually more capable IMHO) to share her thoughts and ideas. IF she's interested in sharing her views, I'll seek her out, but from what I can tell, you have a somewhat limited and perhaps even negative view of AS. That's really too bad. I also find the combative nature of your posts confusing. I'm not saying your a moron (I could if you like) but was just trying to get you to open your eyes. You're right that self-centerness is potentially an AS trait. However, the only person that seems to exhibit it that I've met in my research is you.

> You're right that self-centerness is
> potentially an AS trait. However, the only
> person that seems to exhibit it that I've met
> in my research is you.

I've known quite a few others who have it -- although it's perhaps not proper to refer to it as "self-centeredness" since it isn't so much that autistics "focus on themselves" so much as it is that they often have difficulty recognizing that other people are human beings: the "Theory of Mind" problem. I do indeed have TOM issues, but they used to be far worse; I didn't even learn when and how -- and most of all, *why* -- to say things like "please" and "thank you" until I was in my mid-twenties or thereabouts.

"private property rights actually override First Amendment protections, and this blog is private property."

Eh, true. Still, considering your strong belief in civil rights...

"In fact, you *can* yell "FIRE" in a crowded building if the building is, in fact, on fire. That's another common misconception."

I'm aware of that, silly. I meant that you can't yell "FIRE" if the building is not in fact on fire.

"> there are others... that are *far* from your
> kind.

I'm not sure I agree with that, but I'll concede the point."

Even the researchers point out that there are at least two distinct subgroups of autistics.

If I were like you, I'd still have the F**ds as friends, instead of flaming and then kicking them from my life even at the expense of other friendships. I find the suggestion that I would tolerate that crap (or much of any other crap) from anyone VERY insulting.

Your knowledge of the constitution is laudable. Your application of said document is problematic. I'm not certain, but unless you're paying fees for this service, the site space is maintained by your girlfriend. Even if said space were gifted to you somehow, she is still sole owner unless your ownership is recognized directly by the IP.

I'm getting the feeling I might comprimise your private little reality bubble in which you are the arbitor of information and logic and since I am not invested in making you feel better about your egotism, I'll refrain from posting. I will however, seek out help from your girlfriend who seems quite friendly and much more well versed in AS.

> you're very, very lucky to have
> friends.

I'm very much aware of that. (I'm not being sarcastic, I'm quite serious.)

> I'm not certain, but unless you're paying fees
> for this service, the site space is maintained
> by your girlfriend. Even if said space were
> gifted to you somehow, she is still sole owner
> unless your ownership is recognized directly by
> the IP.

Yes, that is all correct. I said this blog is private property; I didn't say it was *my* private property.

> Eh, true. Still, considering your strong belief
> in civil rights...

It's not a civil rights issue, that was my point. The First Amendment simply doesn't apply under certain circumstances, and this is one of them.

> I will however, seek out help from your
> girlfriend who seems quite friendly and much
> more well versed in AS.

She is. She's been studying ASDs for about a year or two longer than I have and is much more well-read about them than I am or am ever likely to be. (She was, in fact, the one who "diagnosed" me about a year ago.) I'm sure you'll find Denise a valuable resource, as I have and do.

I would like to offer a public apology to Denise for offering her the insult that I did. I was not aware of it when I did it, and I can only chalk it up to my still-limited knowledge of autism in general as well as a lack of social skill on my part. I'm aware of that deficit in my own personality. It's one that I've been aware of for quite some time and have been working on for some years, with only limited success. My being autistic is certainly a big cause of that -- I don't think it's the only one, but that's another discussion.

I would also like to offer my apologies to Cassandra for being "overzealous" about various matters. Another of my personality flaws is that I'm very self-important. Sometimes, it's understandable (not acceptable, just understandable). Regardless, this was not one of those times, and I did say a number of things here that I wish I hadn't said.

To both of you: I'm sorry. (At least I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong... a lot of people aren't.)

JERRY!!! JERRY!! JERRY!!!!!!

Instead of catching up to where I left off in this comments section (which I can't, 'cuz way too much has happened here), I'm just gonna hide off in the other comments section and talk about Schoolhouse Rock.

Fuck American Idol. I loathe such manufactured bull crap. Gimme the Monkees anyday instead...

"I'm getting the feeling I might comprimise your private little reality bubble in which you are the arbitor of information and logic"

Why did you post here to begin with? You knew Denise was more like your daughter, you insulted Parrish 5 times in just your first post, and by insinuating his boss was treating him badly tried to interfere in his work life.

I don't care who made errors in what, but there are a lot of parents that can't express the frustration and anger they feel at their autistic child, so they pick an autistic victim on the internet that can't fight back effectively and go to town. You fit the M.O. toots.