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First Time Anal

To: soc.sexuality.general
From: elf@drizzle.com (Elf Sternberg)
Subject: Re: First Time Anal
Date: Fri, 7 Dec 2001 17:32:45 +0000 (UTC)

In article <20011205172121.22909.00000733@mb-df.aol.com> 
    madpihc@aol.com (MadPihc) writes:

>My wife and I are in our early 30's and will be trying anal penetration for the
>first time.

        Have fun!  It's not for everyone, but for those who like it,
it's really worth the effort.

>I would like some tips on doing it.  Some words from experienced men and
>especially women is probably a good starting point.  Covering areas like; what
>type of lubrication, should I penetration the full length, ejaculation in the
>anus... etc.

        The best advice anyone can give about sodomy is to go slow.

        Let's start with the basics.  A lot of inquiries here worry
about how messy it will be, but the real fact is that most people can
tell when they have to got to the bathroom.  If you're really worried
about it, a small irrigation bulb (available at any drugstore) filled
with warm, clean water (and nothing else!) can help rinse out the lower
rectum enough.  But if you do that, two things to be aware of: you need
much more lubrication because you're irritating the lining of the
rectum, and if you use too much water or if you're one of those people
who's just sensitive to this sort of thing, the water may cause the
peristaltic reaction to kick in and more fecal matter may descend from
the lower colon into the rectum.

        Once you're satisfied either way with the cleanliness, start
slowly, preferably with one finger.  Take time.  Pay attention to the
muscles; you're playing here to loosen them up and let you in.  If your
wife owns a vibrator, consider using it during this time; familiar
erotic stimulation can be very important to overcome any discomfort with
unfamiliar penetration.  After a few minutes of this, go on to two
fingers.

        Lubrication is obviously important here and the only real
recommendations I can give are two: don't use KY, and don't use anything
with nonoxynol-9 in it.  The first simply doesn't last long enough; it's
made for medical insertions and then to dissolve away, not for the
regular and vigorous back-and-forth of intercourse.  Nonoxynol-9 is a
much-touted spermicide and antibacterial that has a history of also
being an irritant, especially in the rectum.  Use a common commercial
brand like Wet, Probe, or Astroglide, and always be willing to put more
on.  

        Whether you can get all the way in obviously depends on whether
or not she can accomodate you.  If she can, go for it.  Obviously the
real issue is to pay attention to her and what she wants.

        You can ejaculate into the anus if you want.  It's not medically
dangerous for monogamous couples who aren't already practicing safer sex
vaginally.  It may be uncomfortable-- many people are sensitive to the
proteins in semen and it may cause gas or necessitate an immediate trip
to the bathroom.  You won't know until you try it, though.

                Elf

        

--
Elf M. Sternberg, Immanentizing the Eschaton since 1988
http://www.drizzle.com/~elf/       (under construction)

Your rage is useless.  Your rage will be packaged, branded
and sold back to you as entertainment.  Get used to it.


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