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Hey, Kansan?

To: alt.magick
From: catherine yronwode 
Subject: Re: Hey, Kansan?
Date: Sun, 05 Oct 2003 23:54:31 GMT

The Natural Philosopher wrote:
> Who the fuck is Heidi Klum anyway?
> I've been watching you post about ten years of assorted codswallop
> including the keyword 'Hedi Klum'...and I finally had to ask.
> Its not something I need to know, just curious.

This is not the answer Kansan would give, but ... 

Heidi Klum is a stern-faced or stone-faced German swimsuit
model who has a contract modelling for the Victoria's Secret
line of women's underwear and is occasionally seen in
tabloid newspapers and on television. Her body is not
exceptionally beautiful or languorous, just averagely smooth
and toned. Her face is harsh and cold. She has been said to
have "a horse face." She is about at the end of her career
as a model, due to the fact that she is approaching middle
age. Possibly because of language barriers, and possibly
because she is actually not very charismatic, she has not
been able to develop a secondary role as a product or
non-profit organization spokesperson, celebrity-journalist,
or news anchor, as other aging models have.

For some reason, this guy Kansan1225, who claims to be a
50-some married American man of Greek descent named Nick
Kaffes, has fixated on Ms. Klum as emblematic evidence of a
large conspiracy theory with spiritual import for the world.
He uses half-baked numerology and date-numbering to
demonstrate "coincidences" that "prove" his theory. He has a
habit of initiating threads with subject lines that read as
if he is replying to someone, but if you trace the threads
to their beginnings, you will see that he was the original
poster. He has repeatedtly nominated for KOTM (Kook of the
Month) n usenet. A quick search at the google newsgroup
archive reveals 15,900 usenet posts containing the terms

In times past, some folks in usenet believed that he was
pulling their legs, making sly and joking references to the
excesses of past conspiracy theories, but as the years have
rolled on, it has become more probable that he is truly
delusional. He believes Ms. Klum to be an angel or messenger
of God, refers to her as an "Empress" or "Our Lady" and
claims that she represents what he calls "The Teutonic Fatherland."

Nick seems to intend no harm to Ms. Klum, which is a mercy,
considering the many instances of violence that
schizophrenics and other delusional people have committed
upon the celebrities around whom their fantasies revolve. It
is unlikely that you will get a rational reply from him to
your question, though, as he is, ipso facto, irrational on
the subject of Heidi Klum. 

cat yronwode

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