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Ping: Sane people here. Need answers.

To: alt.magick
From: catherine yronwode 
Subject: Re: Ping:  "Sane" people here.  Need answers.
Date: Tue, 09 Mar 2004 07:14:30 GMT

stg-delfuego wrote:
> 
> [snip post for bandwidth]
> You are Fred.  What do you do?

Well, i am not Fred, nor have i been where Fred is, but i have
been someplace similar, myself, in the past. 

For me it all came crashing through to "weirdness" when i
realized that certain uncomfortable yet spiritually "emergent"
(and "emergency" as in life threatening) situations always
cropped up around certain people (problem people, troubled and
troubling people) and along with certain forms of social
behaviour. The details don't matter, could have been seeing ants
everywhere, or experiencing repeated time slippages, or people
talking about UFOs a bit too earnestly for comfort, or a feeling
of unease in which some small pieces of the world seems to be
dead with a kind of Philip K. Dickan ice-cold-deadness -- but
what happened to me was that one day i suddenly thought to ask,
"Why do these things (good, bad, spooky, abnormal, non-sane, out
of control, deja vu in a not necessarily amusing way) always
happen when i am engaging in XYZ behaviour patterns around XYZ
group of people? 

Scientific method indicated that the variables should be tested.
Do the behaviour sans those people, hang with those people sans
the behaviour. Abstain from the behaviour and stay away from
those people. Return to those people and engage in the behaviour.
Observe differences and similarities. 

Bingo: it was that particular combination and that combination
ONLY that triggered the hyper weirdness. The behaviour alone did
not. The people alone came very close, but never sent me quite
over the edge of weirdness. Engaging in the behaviour around
those people -- slam! Too weird to handle. Retesting for the same
variables resulted in the same situations, deja vu all over
again. 

Result: i sought a new group of friends AND made some
modifications to my behaviour. I really did not want to leave my
sense of reality at the mercy of untender outside influences. 

Now your conditions may be similar to mine, or very, very
different. Certainly "problem people" are involved, for you said
as much. Behaviours of your own may be involved or not. But
whether or not they are, my advice is the same as i gave myself:
Set up as many variables as you can identify and test for them
independently and in pairs. Discover what is really at the root
of the problem. You have so far identified certain people as a
nexus -- is there anything else that triggers the weirdness? 

Good luck,

cat yronwode

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