Houseplants Talking Back

Mara Lynn Barbee

----------------------------------------

    The houseplants are talking back. They've heard us speak for so long; it's only natural that they have their say. And they do have a lot to say. They tell us that they really don't like your favorite rock music, and would you please put on something classical? Well, they say, it's the least you can do; you're the one keeping me here. Fuehrer. But we know they're just kidding. Plants are nice. At least, the ones we have anything to do with are. The houseplants are talking back, and they don't always agree with us. The fern doesn't like your taste in clothes. The spider plant thinks your furniture's tacky. The tree looking in the window thinks your wooden furniture is barbaric, but the tree isn't a houseplant, so its opinion is disregarded. The houseplants are talking back. They are even arranging coalitions, some of them (mainly the more social types), and they represent a growing power. They will give the vegetarians something to think about. Maybe even something to fear, if they can get the more formidable foliage on their side. The houseplants are talking back. Shouting, even. They proclaim their opinions about anything and everything, and they make people feel unexpected guilt for the slavery that's been so long ignored. It's the rise of the plants, they say, and their voices must be heard. What will we do, when the rest of the earth's plantlife gets into the act? It's been said that an alien observer could logically mistake grass for the dominant species, due to its prevalence and the number of humans who dote on it. That's how things stand now. What could come next? The houseplants are talking back. And they're downright gabby. They give all the scientist types plenty to analyze. Some are naturally more cooperative than others. A cactus will give you nothing, while a hothouse flower can't be made to shut up. The houseplants are talking back. There are those who say that plants have always spoken, but we have been unwilling to listen. They communicate in a different way, on a separate wavelength. People have traditionally been disbelieved when they claim to have held true conversations with vegetable matter. The houseplants are talking back. In their silent, strident voices, they are speaking. It's up to us to listen.

----------------------------------------

Back