Goblin Homepage
Issue Eight
Curses!

Wohler Bridge
As Alpine Christmas Chalet Paperweight

By The Satanic Rabbi

Air reeking grassy as bong-pong
In the vast meadow, very windy
By the Russian River
A Cecil B. De Mille cast of millions
Bobbing Busby set of thistles all
Purpler than Prince
Pods puffing blizzards of
Blinding white twinkle-fluff
Which banks in hidden redwood crannies
Filling nooks like bright fat snow-drifts

Angel hair!
Silk so sheer
Tickles the wind
And ages hair

Joy
Flakes
Swirling;
Everywhere . . .

SautŽ ici, sautŽ la
Diabolus Diabolus
Ha Ha Ha

Concerning the Newly Erected Barriers at Wohler Bridge

Tremble ye! Tremble ye!! Tremble!!! Those Ancient Redwood Forest Rings and Mystical Twinkle-Fluff Meadows are Sacred Druid and Wiccan Temples. The Vile Swine who take them Away from All shall Verily Suffer the most Horrible Karma. As the Feotid Berlin-Wall Ramparts they have Raised, their Hearts shall be Barricaded from Every One of Nature's Plushest Joys. Never shall they Exalt in the Russian River's Quivering Breezes, nor Savor the Bacchic Intoxication of the Smell of Sun-Warmed, Shimmering Pine-Needles. They shall be made to Trudge Millenniums over Razor-Sharp Fist-Sized River Pebbles, Cement Boulders fastened on Top of their Block Heads - and then Endlessly Wade through Vasty Brooks of Satanic Boiling Rubbing-Alcohol. They shall have not One Drop of Pluto-Cold Milk (God Milk?) after being Force Fed a Football-Field-Sized Slice of Chocolate Devil's Cake. Woe! Woe! They shall Choke and Drown in a Tidal Wave of Burning, Salty Tears -- Wept from the Eyes of Ten Thousand Bitterly Disappointed Vacationing Virgin Children. The Very "Dogs" shall CurseTheir Ass Eternally. They shall be Torn Apart, Wattle by Wattle, by Grizzly-Bear-Sized Golden Retrievers, Slavering Forth Flaming Oceans of Frothy Slimes Born of a Million Unswum Fetch-Branch Quests.

But it is not Too Late! A few sane words could spare the Monstrous Transgressors All This!

Lest Satan Himself Rape them All with his White-Hot Brontosaurus- Harpoon: as Twisted, Arrogant, and Stiff as They . . . . Blasphemous, Blinkered, Bungling, Backwards-Ass, Bumpkin, Bureaucrats:

Oh Most Horrid Vile Suckiness!
Maggot-Ridden Concrete Walls Begone!
For All Time!!! or Else
Hell without End!!!!
Oy, Vey -- Feh Feh!!!!!

Amen . . . .

Goblin Homepage
Issue Eight