Goblin Homepage
Issue Seven
Curses! Tailed Again!!Curses! Tailed Again!!
By The Satanic Rabbi
Saute ici -- Saute La:
Diabolus Diabolus
Ha! Ha! Ha!
To All the Yuppie and Redneck Dude-ish* Swine who willfully and with the most Vicious Malice, Menace and Perturb the peace of mind of the Satanic Rabbi -- those who follow scant inches from his rear Bumper though his velocity be a scant 5 m.p.h over the stated Legal speed Limit:
If the Exultant Vehicle you are continually in the process of psychically Raping be a
Salmon-Flake
Exterior
Ice-Blue leather
Interior
Scarlet Dice . . .
Convertible
'55 Thunderbird of Mighty
Ford . . .
Isuzu! Commence
the endless Earsplitting Loop of
"Pop! Goes The Weasel!"
If You are They
In the name of the 11th Commandment**
"Thou shalt Abstain from All Vile Suckiness."
You have been Warned.
Hail: Lustrous Hatti: Original Skanky-Ass Vestal Ho of Babylon and Ur;
Empress of all Envy, Spite, and Jealousy.
Smite they the Tailgating Demons of Hell so that:
A razor-sharpened jalapeno-peppered Reindeer Antler shall be violently hammered up their Hemorroidal Blistered Yuppie Tukasses --
For All Eternity!
For All Eternity!
Hail, Luscious Lucifer!
- (Hey Satan - howzit goin'? heh-heh-heh?)
- Puppeteer of Nads and Sheer Confusion:
Smite thou the Tailgating Demons from Hell so that:
- Their eyeballs shall be sliced into Blindness by One Thousand paper Cuts and Iodine be drenched upon the open, oozing wound --
- For All Eternity!!
- For All Eternity!!
Hail most Crabby Jehovah! Pissed Off, Lord of Tsourris, Bris, and Virtuous Wraths. Justify Thy Anger and Smite Thou the Tailgating demons of Los Angeles so that: their rancid Pipicks. By Unwaxed Dental Floss shall be sawed away unto a Gossamer Thread of Gristle which
Evil, Justly Punished.
- Never ever shall be snapped:
- For All Eternity!!!
- For All Eternity!!!
Hail, Invisible Burroughs! Magician Laconic but Virulent:
- Unleash the Fury of
- Junk-Sick Giant Scorpions and Centipedes
- Smite thou the Tailgating Demons of Interzone
So that:
- They shall be Hung from the Neck until sharp Flakes of
- Black Dried Scorpion-Jism dripple out of their
- Red-Hot-Copper-Clawed Gaping, Quivering,
- Kishkas, whilst their flaming
- Schmucks, spontaneously spurt
- Iridescent Spirals of Rusty Sardine Can Lids
- With a Horrible Schlupping Sound:
- For All Eternity!!!!
- For All Eternity!!!!
By these Terrifying Words
All Tailgating Turds
Hell without end:
Oy! Vey!! Feh!!! Feh!!!!
Amen ...
*Thelma-ish too, not to be sexist
**From newly released Dead Sea Scrolls
-- Translated by the Satanic Rabbi
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Issue Seven