The Bikin' Fools

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The flooded senses

tuning up for the ride

Eight participants met in Middletown to assault boredom and normalcy. It was the monthly gathering of the Bikin’ Fools for the July full moon bike ride. Lindsey, Jim Korte, Shawn and Eric hooked up with Austin, Auriah, Cirrus and Jer to make the moonlight run from the helicopter pad at Boggs to H--bin Hot Springs.

This ride was unique to the history of this nearly one-decade old tradition. On this night there would be another dinner party, this time however, the dinner and attendant liberal liquid enhancement would occur not during the ride but before the event!

"I want to try something new," Lindsey announced, "I want to study the performance effect of ingesting massive amounts of beer."

annette carting in more beer

Although the likely outcome of beer induced decision making is widely accepted as being doubtful at best, Lindsey insisted that there was adventure available on the other side of the sobriety barrier. The first phase of the adventure began in earnest at the Mt. St. Helena BrewPub.

Mt. St. Helena Brewing Co.

Cube of beer to go......................................................... ..19.95

linz focused like a hawk on the mission

Cirrus, Auriah and Eric made a valiant effort to provide a sober baseline for the study of beercycling. The crew reassembled at the cars. Jer would provide critical transportation in the trusty Subaru and Eric carried the eight bikes and two other riders in the truck to the heli-pad at Boggs Mt. Demonstration Forest. The starting point was originally going to be the campground, but that required a two-mile drive on dirt. The problem was that Austin’s 4-Runner, the retrieve vehicle, was operating without the rear deck, hence dust was a problem.

The extended riding turned out to be a blessing. First the extra miles whizzed past at an alarming quick rate. Suddenly, and thinking that there must be more climbing, the troops gathered at the campground. This extra effort allowed an opportunity to (1) compare performance across the spectrum of loadedness and (2) gave the Cervasatistas a few uncritical miles to process the mind and body altering effects of the electrolyte enhancement fluid. From the campground the usual course is to connect with single track to Big Springs, then traverse around the nose of Boggs Mt. and drop to the DogHouse road. On this evening it seemed prudent to continue on road 500, pass on the single track and drop directly towards the Springs.

Austin helping lighten jer's load

The moon was rising in the east, the temperature was a balmy 72 degrees and the universe was exceptionally generous with an offering of beautiful moonlit, outdoor splendor. After a significant grind up to the nose of Boggs, the group paused and continued the beer-fest. The beer cube made several rounds and lightened the load considerably for Jer who had the only pack large enough to carry it. Jer, by the way, was riding his no-suspension, no clips or cleats Rock Hopper. He shredded wheel to wheel with a fleet of Super Lights, grinning right up to the point of impact.

The term "impact" found fertile ground in Lindsey’s bikin’ experience. Actually "impacted" was more the term to explain Lindsey’s collection of rocks that he was able to skillfully install in his shins. The beer experiment other than that proved to be an enhancement to Lindsey’s usually cautious descents. The frequent and notable exhortations of extreme effort from Linz were missing and instead replaced with light banter and heavy laughing.

Jimbo started to get the pinwheel eyes thing going again and bolted towards his truck. Unfortunately four other riders went with him, not heeding Eric’s admonition to wait at the turn-off to the Chutes. Lindsey, Shawn and Eric, riding last came to the turn.

"Ahh, well," Eric said, "Whattya want to do?"

"I want to go do the Chutes!" Linz said with no hesitation.

"Yea, I kinda wanted to go there too." Shawn said.

"Well, I guess I’m committed to going downhill since they won’t know what happened." Eric stated with a note of contempt.

The bikers could be heard somewhere down the hill. Lindsey whistled. It was unclear if they heard. Nothing was heard from downhill.

"OK," Eric stated with resignation, "I’ll see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Shawn and Lindsey began the short climb from the DogHouse road. The road leveled then dropped towards the adventureland that is the west Harbin ridge. Eric continued the steep, treacherous descent down the rugged jeep road that is actually a driveway for an extremely remote residence on the face of Boggs Mt., the residence that has dogs. He traveled several hundred yards, rounded a corner and presto! The other bikers had stopped and weren’t terribly far away.

"This isn’t the right road." Jim stated.

"No shit" Eric thought.

"Ahh, whaddya want to do?" Eric said, "Do you want to continue down this and straight to M-town or climb back up and catch Shawn and Lindsey."

"Let’s go back up." Austin responded without hesitation.

"Hey, I’m down with that." Said Jer and Auriah.

"What ever." Jim said.

reunited

The six bikers began the steep grunt back up the badly deteriorated road. It took only ten minutes or so. At the top of the grade of the turn-off, Eric whistled. In the far distance, a whistle returned. The party would rage on for another couple of hours. Two riders were new to this route, Cirrus and Auriah. Cirrus looking ahead to a steep uphill failed to notice the ditch. It was his turn for sudden stoppage. At the top of the initial Chutes hill, Linz and Shawn were waiting in the clear, bright moonlight. The reunion was just cause to kill the beer cube.

shawn preparing for more "forward navigation"

The main chute was completely grown over, a blessing for those who would have tried to navigate the tricky descent. In the past, this feature has challenged the best and dumbest of the Bikin’ Fools. Many have tried, only a couple have dropped the chute and rode away. The alternate path was employed and the eight Lunatistas began to thread down the delightful singletrack that snakes across the top of the ridge. Part of the reason for selecting this ride was to perform maintenance on the trail. Three people had clippers. For the next hour, passage was delayed slightly as the maintenance progressed.

Finally, all of the riders reached the junction to the resort. Austin was sporting low air pressure in his rear tire. He elected to continue and proceeded down the trail. The passage was normal until suddenly the terrain began to appear unfamiliar. The direction didn’t seem correct. This was very strange since no one had ever noticed any turns off of this trail. The Fools had it ridden many times. Steps were retraced until the stealth passage through the brush was discovered. At that point it was time to fix Austin’s tire. A half-inch long thorn from a burly bush managed to find its way into the tough Moto Raptor. Once back on the trail, the crew descended until Auriah flatted. Another pause under the bright lumens of the moon forced the crew to bask in the beauty of the night. Shortly after Auriah’s the fix, the contingent came upon the Tea House meditation shack. It was perfect for an official meeting of the bored.

The crew had decided that only Linz and Shawn were interested in the hot waters while the rest of the party would proceed to M-town and execute the car shuffle. Linz and Shawn stayed back while the six others mobbed across the deck, down the walk and through the ornate gate near the pools. Then a short but quick dash past CheckPoint Charlie in the dark where Jer, not expecting the speed bump almost stacked.

All of the riders fared well for the evening. The experiment proved to be a frightening success. The concept of adding ‘loaded’ to L-Factor worked. All of the riders received the benediction of the night, had lots of fun, ate great pizza and survived in good shape despite a few dings. The moon would soon transit into her waning phase until, the Bikin’ Fools gather to celebrate the cycle of life again in the gracious and beautiful venue under the guidance of the Lady of the Night.

truckload of too much fun