The Bikin' Fools

"in the silvery light of the moon.

the lunatistas consorted with the bovine platoon."

Ten Lunatistas volunteered to endure several hours of intense pleasure. It wasn’t easy. Starting from Tony’s late arrival to the last turn of the cranks, the evening was simply a corpulent cornucopia of mt. bikin’ fun. So delightful was this offering, it even came with ice cream!

Tone arrives eager to ride...

It was a standard, "Six at the shop" start to the event. At 6:30, Eric received a frantic call; "Dude, where are you? We’re ready to go!"

"Lindsey can’t possibly be there yet?" Eric said.

"He was the first one here!" Shawn said. "He’s got to catch a 5:00 a.m. flight. He’s ready to go."

Being on time was so out of character for Linz. The L-Factor has been the keeper of the cosmic cLock, a connection with numerous wormholes in time. His unique juxtaposition with the cosmos has often seemed, to the non-initiated, as simply being late. Yet, almost always his timing is serendipitously perfect.

" I was just about to leave." Eric said. "See you in two minutes."

Twenty thousand dollars of bikes and ten riders pack Dr. J's van

At the shop several groups of riders milled about. The VAN stood at the terminal receiving bikes and gear as the riders arrived. Before the evening was over, the van would pack a record ten riders and ten bikes for the climb up Ida Clayton road. Daniel and his Teva’s showed up for another romp with the bikin' fools. The rookie for the evening was David, roommate to Matt from PMS. Buddy Holly was on hand dressed up like Jim Korte. Michel made another marriage/career-threatening appearance. His double life includes a believable career as a teacher with monthly sorties to join the lunatistas for a raid on normalcy, the mundane and ordinary life. He becomes an agent for the secret society that takes to the wilderness and becomes wild, crazy and lunatic.

It was dark when Eric arrived at the shop. "Has anyone heard from Auriah. I tried calling him earlier?"

"Yes." Auriah said.

"Far out, dude," Eric said.

"How about Large?"

"Ahh, he called and said he had to pay his domestic fun tax."

"O’…"

"What are we waiting for?"

"Tony," Jim said, "He’s on his way."

"I stopped by his house and he wasn’t even home yet." Eric said. "Let’s go wait at his place."

"What time is it?" Lindsey asked.

"Does anyone want anything from the store?" Daniel asked.

"How about some ice cream." Shawn joked. It would seem obvious that ice cream would melt quickly. Daniel and David headed off to the store, buying more time for Tone who was doing a NASCAR imitation on the Silverado Trail trying to make it to this event. Lindsey was pacing nervously. He didn’t want to drive straight to the airplane from the bike ride, a situation with some precedence.

Tone finally made his appearance. Three vehicles drove out of town to the bottom of Ida Clayton. There everyone loaded into Mike’s van. Ten large adults would add about one ton to the vehicle. Ten bikes added another two hundred and fifty pounds. Packs and beer accounted for several more hundreds of pounds of bikin’ madness. The van appeared to offer no resistance in carting the giddy, glory-bound crew to the start of this month’s ride. On the way up the hill two items made it into the memory cells. First the appearance of tail lights up the road. They seemed strangely oriented from a distance. Eventually it became obvious that it was a bike. A roadie had chosen a parallel venue to bask in the experience that so few have known. It was cool to see another bikin' fool doing something daring, unique and difficult.

Daring roadie makes the spooky Ida Clayton night crossing

At the chosen gate, the crew made final preparations and climbed over the barrier into an unknown medium. On a previous trek down this same route, the mud was thick and gooey. It stuck to everything. It clogged the bikes so badly they became un-rideable. Shoes turned into lead diving boots. On this clear and beautiful evening the ground was wet, but the mud did not stick. Passage was swift and easy. Quickly landmarks fled by. The Bovine Honor Guard was on hand to celebrate the passage of the bikin' fools. They performed several precise flanking maneuvers as the lunatistas passed in review.

A choice for the dinner spot was needed. At the top of a picturesque knoll the group decided to build the fire. A discussion ensued about being visible. Ten minutes later the crew was assembling just a few yards down the hill completely out of sight of anyone in the valley below. A raging fire was constructed and the usual assortment of bikin' fools approved menu items appeared. Salmon, steak, sausage, corn on the cob, roasted peppers, French bread and cheese conspired to sate the appetites of the hard working adventurers. Shawn indulged in canned cheese on Wheat Thins for the ultimate, beer compatible appetizer. At the end of dinner, Eric pulled a well wrapped package out of his pack. The double foil lined, insulated parcel contained the ice cream. It was still frozen hours after leaving the store.

Dr. J starts the fire as happy bikers look on

The sky was completely cloudless. The air was crisp and cool. This was the last full moon of winter. It shined bright and clear on the landscape. The path was well lit for the most part. In places of blackness, the road continued smooth and easily passable. The ruts were not deep enough to cause problems. Buddy Holly rode all night without stacking. Dave the rookie shredded like a veteran. He slipped seamlessly into the fold of the moonlight marauders. Daniel didn’t complain of cold feet. His Teva’s offer a magic quality that no one understands. They carry him mysteriously across the landscape like two mini magic carpets.

All too soon (except for Linz), the bottom of the ride appeared at hand. The stone drive had been paved. The crew dashed downhill at warp speed to the creek road. The river was running briskly from the recent rain. It sang and talked to the fools as they completed their journey of fun and renewal. It was an especially important ride. On this outing the fools would have to shoulder the task of transforming bad juju worldwide to the benediction of life and the joy that is available to those who are lucky enough to be able to mine it from the cosmos.

Back on the road again

Six riders elected to pedal back to town while the others performed the car shuffle. The ride successfully tipped the funnometer into the red zone for several hours. La Luna offered an extraordinary evening for the troops to revel in the glory that exists under her watchful eye.

Grateful lunatista expressing gratitude for the benediction of la luna