Chapter#3 Barn Boys
Part#1 Marvin: As you enter the new area, you'll figure this level is in a country manner. Go across the body of water than to the right. You should see a rat named Marvin pestering two living blocks. The little male block named Jack, will tell you to get a certain bitch off his back. He is refering to the big female block on top of him. Conker agrees to help get rid of the gassy rat Marvin. The block will tell you to go see his friend Burt. Go back to the front then to the left. Avoid the two stomping blocks. You'll come to a "cheesy" area. Ahead, you'll see Burt. Conker talks and Burt opens the gate to the little cheese slices. Hit one with a pan and pick it up. Carry it back to the area to Marvin. Avoid getting stomped on the blocks by going under them as they go toward you or, walk along the ledge, avoiding the blocks, but careful not to fall into the water and lose your cheese. Go all the way to Marvin and Conker will toss the cheese over. Repeat this a couple more times. On the last time Marvin will have eaten to much and will explode (ewwww...). The female block will hop off the Jack giving you access to the roof of the barn. Hop up the blocks, along the pipes, onto the roof, and flip the switch. This will open the barn door. First, grab the nearby money. Go back to the front, past the cheese area, and you'll find the door you just opened. Go on in.
Part#2 Mad Pitchfork: When you enter the barn, Conker will ask the haystacks what inside the barn is so great. Then near the back, a paint can, paintbrush, and a pitchfork will discuse over who will fight Conker. They'll all freeze. Have Conker go on over to the area and the pitchfork (Franky) will fight Conker. Franky will use a stab attack. Go behind each haystack to trick Franky into destroying it. After they are all gone, the paint can will call Franky a failier and mention he should go kill himself. Franky hangs himself on the ceiling. Then realizes that he has no neck (haha!). The paint guys will laugh at his stupidity. Go to the area where all the hay used to be and pull the lever. A bee king will fall out of a door outside. Exit the barn. Since Franky is hanging, a big haystack will hop down from the ceilling and "wonder around aimlessly".
Part#3 Sunny Days: Outside, you'll find the fallen bee (who is the old husband of Mrs. Bee. He'll call you on over to talk to you about a female sunflower he wants to pollenate. Continue down the path and Conker will talk to the sunflower, who is covering herself and tells Conker to go away teasing like. Go to where the bee is in the area with the hopping crate and you'll see tickling bees. Have them follow Conker all the way to the sunflower. They will tickle her, but she is still covering hersef. Go to the cheese area. Back flip to the high path and you'll find more bees. Bring them to the sunflower. You'll find more at the area entrance, and the place with the barn door switch. After dropping them off come back here. Hop to the higher part of the roof. Go past the chimney to the steep part. Get to the top of this steepel by high jumping then tail spinning. Go to the right where you'll see a ladder go up it to the top of a giant bucket (note that its full of water) walk and jump along the edges to reach the tickling bees. Carefully go back to the sunflower. While carrying all these bees back don't go in water, or in another area. Such as the barn. The flower cannot withstand the tickling anymore and will expose her stigmas (in the form of boobs) and Mr. Bee will pollonate her. Conker will watch with weird expressions coming over his face. The king will leave thankig Conker, while Conker will be invited by the flower to go for a "bounce". Have Conker bounce off her stigmas to reach the alcove above. In it will be some cash.
Part#4 Barry + Co: Enter the doorway Mr. Bee fell from. Do this by jumping off the top of the hopping crate. By reading the name of this part you may be thinking, "who in the fu*k is Barry?" Well when you enter, you'll see some bats talking about Conkers entery. One of them, named Barry will suggest attacking. Walk along the rafters of the barn ceilling. While balancing, Conker will be able to burn the swooping bats with a blowtorch. Timing is the key. At the end you'll come to a CS button. Take out some throwing knives. Throwing knives at Franky's noose to let him down. Hop on down to have Franky thank Conker as the paint guys laugh at the speech. Conker will excuse himself and violently stick the brush inside the can.
Part#5 Buff You: Hop on Franky and bounce on over to the big haystack. Attack it to hurt it (avoid it's attacks). This will cause it to catch fire. Do this again and it will change it's eye and zoom in on Conker. A bunch of options will appear in his mind, then he finds the solution to problem, "Buff you asshole!" Stab it on final time to have it jump up and down, causing the floor to give away to all of them.
Part#6 Haybot Wars: Conker will freefall then land flat on his back in a huge basment with three pipes sticking out, and 6 livewires hanging from the ceilling. Franky will get stuck in the ground a few feet away. They both recover, only Conker hurt his leg and can't walk very well. They agree that fight was a piece of cake. They'll not like the sound of the music as they look over at the fire where the shadowy haystack had fallen. Their' eyes pot out as the revealed robot hops out of the mess. He does his "terminater" sight on Conker again before summoning two missles. One fires as Conker dives out of the way. The battle begins. Have Conker quickley jump onto Franky and hop away from the robot before he hits you. If you are hurt at all you'll be knocked off Franky. Conker should stay on Franky as his leg is hurt. When the robot stops hopping he'll take out his missle guys. They are hard to avoid, so stay behind one of the pipes. When a missle hits a pipe, water should start to spray. Lure the robot over to the water. He'll malfunction and go to the middle of the area. He'll slowly spin around. Exposing a button that says, "do not press". Hop up to the button when it comes your way. Press B when the lightbulb appears to have Conker punch the button. The robots left arm will explode. Repeat this with all three pipes until the robot explodes altogther. Franky will be split in two by the explosion. Conker will fix him up with some duct tape. Franky will thank Conker once again.
Part#7 Frying Tonight: Franky and Conker figure that they need to find away out of there. Their talk is interrupted when the water starts spraying from each pipe. Franky says his good byes and quickley leaves. Conker looks to see the place is filling with water. He also thinks he should hurry as he doesn't like the look of the livewires... A pipe that has "exit" signs next to it should be behind Conker when the cutscene ends. Paddle to the back of the pipe and quickley climb up the ladder. At the top should be a CS button with throwing knives. You can slice three wires from here. Hit the two behind you first as they are more dangerous then the one in front of you. Aim at the tip top of the wire where the ceiling meets the wire. The water should be almost to you know. Paddle across the room and jump onto another latter, quickly climb up then high jump onto the platform. Around this time, the water should raise to the bottom of the platform you're on. Use this CS button to take out more throwing knives. There are three last wires from here. Left, right and middle. The middle wire is farthest away, so hit that first. Then left and right. The water should start rising again. If you took out all of the wires, than you should have nothing to worry about. Hop in the water and wait till the water is done rising. Then paddle around looking for a door in the wall. When you see it, go right in. You'll enter a room with the guy you barfed on a the beginning of this game. Hop onto his tablet and he'll flip you onto a high ledge where some money is waiting. Grab it and go through the door.
Part#8 Slam Dunk: You will appear at a passageway on the roof. Climb the ladders all the way to the top. Avoiding hornets the whole way. You'll end up at a diving board structure right above the huge bucket. Which has no more water inside it right now. Jump off and press B when a lightbulb appears. Conker will turn into an anvil and stomp the switch inside the bucket. This will open the grate in the at the body of water below the barn. Carefully get down and collect your cash. There is also a life down there (if you've see Gregg yet). You job is done here, so exit the whole area and procced to another part of the "Windy" chapter.
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