Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot. —WarMunkey
If CLASS And CULTURAL WARFARE Are Games Then Here Are The Rules
"Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." —George Orwell
It is fun and rewarding to promote and exploit conflict between the class and cultural groups in a society. At least, it beats being the night manager at a McFood outlet. Pay attention to details, persevere like a pitbull with lockjaw, and you, too, can be a successful Clas-Cultural Warlord. You worm, you.
HOW TO PLAY
- Select one or more class and/or cultural groups you wish to confront.
- Determine the goal(s) you wish to achieve by confrontation. These may include:
- Domination, destruction, subversion, conversion, perversion, expulsion, other punishment of the target group(s)
- Power, wealth, luxury, drugs, sexual access, influence, other benefits for yourself
- Some nebulous benefits for your own class / culture group, which make a good cover for your own ambitions
- Random or irrational goals dictated by your personal psychopathology
- Construct rationales (real or imaginary) for your confrontations with the targeted group(s). The rationales should be extremely simple, appealing to the lowest instincts of you followers, but should be supported by an apparent mass of data. See How to Design & Promote a CONSPIRACY THEORY for guidance.
- Unleash an unstinting propaganda-disinformation campaign. Enlist the help of sympathetic politicos, talk-show hosts, ministers, pundits, and similar demagogues. See 25 Ways To Suppress Truth: The Rules of Disinformation for guidance, as well as the usual texts on propaganda, marketing, public relations, etc.
- Encourage members of your own or other groups, or disaffected members of your target group(s), to attack your target(s) with any real or virtual means at their disposal. Convince others to stage physical assaults; they'll gladly do your hard work for you. See If WAGING WAR ON THE U.S. Is A Game Then Here Are The Rules for applications.
- Pick at every real or imagined fault of the targeted group(s). Interpret every aspect of your target(s) in the most negative possible way.
- Ignore and/or deflect critiques of yourself and your own group. Attribute such critiques to the inherently evil / inferior / subversive / putrid nature of your target(s).
- Squeeze'em for all they're worth.
HOW TO SUFFER
- Don't be dismayed if your own class / cultural group falls under attack from others — it wouldn't be a war if you didn't take some hits too.
- Don't be dismayed if your position becomes totally discredited, your side falls into total disarray, you yourself become an object of popular scorn — you'll always find some fools to support you.
- Don't be dismayed if you are assassinated — your side can always use a martyr.
How To CONQUER THE EARTH (or other realms: galaxy, universe, whatever) Without Hardly Breaking A Sweat, Even
"War alone keys up all human energies to their maximum tension and sets the seal of nobility on those peoples who have the courage to face it." —B. Mussolini
HOW TO DO IT
- Determine the realm you wish to conquer: Universal, Galactic, Systemic, Planetary, Continental, Regional, Local, Microscopic
- Determine the mode of your conquest: Real, Virtual, Material, Moral, Visible, Hidden, Economic, Political, Ideological, Spiritual
- Determine the resources you have available: (see mode above)
- Determine the scale and resources of your opposition (if any)
NOTE: In the above two steps, be realistic. Don't let your delusions of adequacy prevent you from making objective evaluations, or your foes will certainly kill you and devour you. Oy.
- Hire and/or blackmail and/or hypnotize such forces as are necessary to overcome your opposition. If you need to employ force yourself, you haven't planned correctly.
- Enjoy the fruits of your victory: victuals, drugs, sex, power, luxury goods, information, respect, worship, etc.
For more information, see these references on CONQUEST and DOMINATION before you start. For cautionary advice, be sure to see 100 Things I'll Do
If I Ever Become An Evil OverLord
In Brief: The Non-Moron's Guide To ENERGY & POLITICS
"Water power is the only really big present source of energy that can be counted as income and not capital." —Charles Galton Darwin, The Next Million Years
(in preparation)
- They ain't making fossil fuels anymore.
- Hydrocarbons (oil, coal) and radioactives are fossil fuels. When they're gone, they're gone.
- All fossil fuels produce nasty wastes during processing and use.
- Somebody is sitting on the fossil fuels you want. You can deal with them either by a) paying whatever price (economic, political, ideological, etc) they want; or b) conquering them and taking what you want while you can.
- If you're sitting on the fossil fuels somebody else wants, you can deal with them either by a) being strong enough to get the price you want; or b) being weak enough to take whatever they'll offer.
- If you control fossil fuels, you'll have no interest in promoting sustainable fuels until your inventories are almost gone.
- The politics of power is as intoxicating as the power of politics.
- More people will eventually want more energy than we can pump. Better look somewhere else.
- There's lots more energy off Earth than on or in it. That's where we should be going.
- Extinct is forever. We can get there easily.
NOTE: For a parallel view, see The Carbonist Manifesto.
"The third peculiarity of aerial warfare was that is was at once enormously destructive and entirely indecisive." —H.G. Wells
If your adversaries have the capability to destroy your state as a social-political-cultural unit, you need the means to deter such destruction. If you have the means to destroy your adversaries, they likewise require such deterrence. That's only logical, eh? Well, of course!
When all relevant sides deter attacks from any other by threat of obliteration, you are playing the game of Mutual Assured Destruction, the deadliest and most expensive form of stalemate. But hell, it's the only game in town. So get with it. Or else you'll be destroyed. Bother.
- Determine which adversaries may destroy you; then develop, build and deploy sufficient weapons (with delivery systems) to destroy them.
- Let them know that you have and will use these weapons; secret, unmounted, unusable weapons deter nothing, nobody, nada, zilch.
- Proper manipulation of media and spies may convince the enemy that you have weapons that don't actually exist, but this can be risky.
- Mount just enough weapons to destroy your adversaries ten times over; more than that is wasteful. But if your adversaries build more weapons than are needed to destroy you ten times over, threaten to build more.
- If you build (or SEEM to be building) a successful defensive screen against any of their operational weapons, the enemy will be motivated to attack (and possibly obliterate) you before your screen is in place.
- When two or more powers can destroy each other, and tensions mount, pray that nobody twitches.
"To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target. " —Anon.
- Never speak of weapons or defences, but of measures and countermeasures (together known as stuffs). And heed what others say about
NukeWar and
BioWar and
ChemWar.
- Let it be known that you're developing NBC stuffs; whether you actually do so or not may be irrelevant.
- If you are developing NBC measures, test them on unsuspecting populations; if you are not developing any, let it be known that any mysterious ailments in your population are due to your developments, supporting point (a).
- Involve your family, friends and political-financial backers in developing NBC stuffs, a highly lucrative business; whether such stuffs ever work may be irrelevant.
- If you have developed any NBC stuffs that actually work, no matter how well, you may sell or trade them in the international weapons market, a highly lucrative business.
- If and when you employ NBC stuffs, proclaim your sacred justifications. If and when any NBC stuffs you've developed and sold are used against you, act surprised and outraged.
- Got Anthrax?
These Weapons of Mass Destruction cannot be displayed!
But BioChemicals are NOT Weapons of Mass Destruction!!
The Joy Of UNCONVENTIONAL WARFARE:
ChemWar · BioWar · NukeWar · SpaceWar · SubWar · PsychWar · CyberWar · TerrorWar · CultWar · etc.
"The world does seem to become one, however much its component elements may resist. Indeed, the stronger the resistance the more certain is the outcome. We resist only what is inevitable." —Henry Miller
Some folks just don't know how to live. Or how to fight. They think that the only way to run a war is to have lots of people, lots of guns, lots of blood, lots of bodies lying around. A charge by a troop of cavalry or a battalion of tanks, tubes blazing. An artillery barrage from naval vessels offshore, from self-propelled howitzers a few ridgelines back, from carefully directed cruise missiles. A few nukes lobbed in here and there, BOOM!
Yeah sure, that's all pretty flashy and noisy, but what a waste! Why not be EFFICIENT, y'know, like SURGICAL or something? Hit some MEANINGFUL targets, not just whatever poor slobs happen to be in the way, eh?
And that's where Unconventional War comes into the picture. Something other than the usual bullets'n'bombs directed at enemy troops, yeah. I mean, sure, troops are just natural targets, like silhouettes at a shooting gallery, there for you to take your pot shots at but to what end? THEY aren't the enemy — the guys you really want to off are elsewhere, doing other stuff. They're hard to get to, expensive to dig out.
So FERGIT'em! Well, if you have chances to assassinate or recruit or otherwise neutralize the opposition decision-makers, go for it. But you can hit them in other ways, indirectly, through the populations they supposedly represent.
People can be debilitated rather directly with NUKE-BIO-CHEM
(NBC) WARFARE — there's
ChemWar
to poison them, and
BioWar
to infect them, and
NukeWar
to irradiate them and do a bit of property damage.
But that's not all! With PsychoWar
you can fock with their heads; with
CyberWar
you can fock with their systems; and with
TerrorWar you can just blow their whole routine right off the map -- see MASTERING TERRORISM for details. With SpaceWar you can hit them from above; with SubWar you can hit them from below or within; with FoodWar you can hit them where they eat; and with WaterWar you can watch them shrivel up and blow away. Try it, you'll like it.
With most of these techniques you'll still get a good body count, directly attributable to your actions. Well, maybe not with CyberWar and other forms of Virtual Warfare — they're just too damn clean. But with PsychoWar and its associated CLASS-CULTURE-WARFARE operations, you can even get your targets to off themselves! Talk about easy!
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