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Soft thumping sounds
Outside the door,
Entrance sought.

Quick drumming starts
In cadence set
Rhythmed rainfall.

Fast footfalls ascend
On stairway tread
Sanctuary achieved.

Door latch catches
In empty house
Isolation intended.

Container lid snaps
On pill- filled bottle
Relief expected.

Life effort thwarted
In dark day spirit
Death absolute.

Today  the body of  a young man
Was discovered in a room 
Of any place, in any town
Where life is used up in cruelty.

A note left on the door, or 
On the desk, or in his hand
Stated that...he couldn't take it,
He wasn't loved,  he lost his will
He hated life, or it must be better
Elsewhere.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
This dust was once a man 
Pained but still alive
When Hope no longer found 
A partner in desire,
He simply died in his way.

Celeste  A. Cafasso's Questions:

Is the  use of two differing  formats acceptable without  losing the significance of the action of the first part?
Is the  second part too preachy in  evaluating the first part?
What is the overall effect , emotional response to the poem?  ( did it "work")

Let Me Be Rushing

When life comes thundering 
As wild mustangs,
Tearing up the ground
Into clouds of dry dust,
Choking the living out of life,

Or when this demand and 
That duty requires full  attention
Causing neglect of restoration 
To the energy of oneself
In using up reserves,

Perhaps it is the opportune time
To put the stops on rush rushing
And re-evaluate the truer reason
For living, giving , taking, making,
Caring, sharing, seeing , being.

Rush rush me to tomorrow
And I lose today's treasure.
Chop, slice and dice my day
Into controllable parts,
I lose the totality of it.

Though I be trembling now
In anxious tenuous activity,.
Let me continue to give the impression
Of some dynamo engrossed in Life
One  rush rushed minute at a time.

Celeste  A. Cafasso's Questions:

Is the image of mustangs left dangle?  Would an image of rush hour traffic perhaps been more appropriate?