Chapter#5 Sloprano



Part#1 Corn Off The Cob: This is the second shortest chapter in the game. When you enter the mountain, a hurried dungbeetle will run into Conker. Then a thought comes into Conker's mind. It's a little thought, not to big, not to small, but just perfect for this moment in time. Do you wish to know how it goes? Well, it goes a little something like this, "Hey! Watch where you're going!" Okay, so maybe it wasn't so thoughtful. The beetle says sorry and says that Conker shouldn't stay in ths mountain, then tells his "scary" tale. Conker refuses to leave. The beetle shrugs it off, then leaves through the door you just came through. Conker will see some sweetcorn and say hi to it. Then Conker hears a huge deep voice from within the badpoo at the bottom of the mountain. It said this cryptic request, "Bring me some sweetcorn!" Conker thinks about this, and decides to do as he says, what ever it is. Hit the sweetcorn with your frying pan then pick it up. Go to the edge over the center area. Conker will toss the sweetcorn in. The sweetcorn will swirl round and round before the sickening sceilence. Travel up each path, tossing in any sweetcorn you see. In the circular areas you'll find sweetcorn. In the center holes of these areas, poohands will pop up randomly. They will attemp to smash you. They can also hit sweetcorn. In each of these circular areas, you'll also see CS button's, you can't use these at the moment, so ignore them. When going along the walkways, be aware of falling poo. Before the last circle, you'll see a seoerate walkway leading to a blocked off room. Ignore this for now, and continue to the final two sweetcorns. Toss in the final sweetcorn. Conker will notice the whole area is shaking. Under his fur, inside his troubled mind, Conker has another emotional thought. Again, these thoughts are perfect for this situation. He had to let the words out! He stared at the center of the poo and said his emotional words of his stressful meaning. This is what Conker said in his confusion... "Uh Oh." That's all?! What a waste of some thoughtful Fu$k.

Part#2 Sweet Melody: The huge poo monster forms with the sweetcorn in his pooey hand. He then eats it. He reveals himself as The Great Mighty Poo. Ewww... This game is filled with interesting boss fights huh? He'll sing a verse and the Sh*ty boss battle will begin. No pun intended there. Dodge the poo he throws at you. When he solos again, go to the nearby CS button and aim some toilet paper into his mouth. He'll sing another verse, ending it with coveringthe CS button you just used. But, hey! There are more buttons down the path. As he lobs poo at you, run back to the past CS button. Wait for it, then lob toilet paper into his mouth two (two times for this button) until he sings his final, and disturbing verse. When he solos in this verse, some cracks will form in the blocked off area you saw before... Run to the final CS button, at the right times, lob three toilet paper rolls into his mouth. He'll do a long, and loud solo. The blocking on the area will get destroyed. Run to it! Run back up the path the new room. Grab the money, then jump up to grab the big toilet flusher. Then The Great Mighty Poo will start to flush. He yells out a sorrowful parodie of when the wicked witch of the west is melting. His emotional loud woe sounds a little something like this, "I'm flushing! I'm flushing! Oh what a world! What a world!" How'd I do that time? Then something pops up in Conker's mind as the flushing ends. It is a emotion... Oh fu#k that sh*t. He says, "Now that's what I call a bouwel movement".

Part#3 U-bend Blues: While The Great Mighty Poo was flushing, you might have noticed the platforms in side the hole. Jump to one. Hop from platform to platform till you get to a door. Go in and you'll see a cutscene of Berri getting kidnapped by a rocky guy. Continue down the tunnel and you'll shortly come to a huge room with a watery hole in he center. Grab the life, then dive in. You'll notice bloody body parts floating around the area. Gulp... Look ahead and you'll see three bloody, sharp, rotating, fanblades. Get some air from the air-pocket before attempting to swim past the first fan. There is a air pocket between each fanblade, so don't rush through the swimming past each fan (one word, disembodied). This might take a few trys. But, lives are always instock at the life hook you just used. When past the last fan, you can either go to the airpocket infront of you then surface, or swim as fast as you can to the surface. Choose one, do it, then enter the tunnel at the surface. Look down and you'll see the fanblade that you saw when you surfaced. Jump to the center rope and look back to see a ladder. Don't fall, as Conker has no chance of making it hrough the fanblade. Tail spin over to the ladder and land on it. Don't land on the floor the ladder is over, as seperate blades are going around it. If you do land, and don't hit a blade (50% chance of missing) addmediately hop onto the ladder. The climb all the way up. Remember the top of the huge bucket in barnboys? Same thing, only you don't want to fall off or in. Go onto the bridge.

Part#4 The Bluff: If you've been collecting money, then this part should be VERY easy. Go across the bridge to find two weasel guards. You'll have enough money if the short guard is behind the rock pooing. How can you tell he's pooing? Well, you'll notice alot of sh$t is flying out from behind the rock. You need $1000 to get by these two. If you don't have enough, you have no choice but to go back. If you have enough, the weasel then trys to take you with him since he sees that Conker is a red squirrl. Conker then has the weasel believe that Conker is an elephant. Conker will get by, and whistle for the money back. When Conker's away from there, the smarter weasel finishes, and sees the other weasel's stupid mistake. Conker then continues on to chapter#6.

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