J7A Essay Process (Fall 2012)
Style requirements
Please do not read just the examples on this page and fashion your essay on them. It will result in errors.
Some special style requests
* Style requirements are relevant to ALL components of your submissions. That includes prose comments in footnotes, "How I used this source" sections, etc.
* You are welcome to use foreign scripts but when you do so, always include a romanized version since some computers might not convert the script properly. Ex. 大阪 [Osaka].
Basic clarity of expression. Please reread and rewrite your paper for clarity. However, it is important that the essay sounds like you. Never have a friend rewrite it for better English or in any other way consult with anyone beyond your research material. This is academic dishonesty under the rules of this assignment since I wish to see your analysis. Contacting others or having them polish the English will result, at minimum, in an "F" for Step 03, no exceptions. I might also convert the Step 02 score to "F" and I might disqualify you from submitting Step 04 and I might give you an "F" in the course and I might report you to the University. If you feel your English will not be well understood by us, you can include a SECOND, edited version. Make sure you do NOT edit the original except by yourself. Keep a separate copy of that work, before you begin to consult someone else. It is unlikely I will have time to contact you about a problem at Step 04. I might be able to contact your at Step 03. However, I reserve the right to make my own conclusions about your work without contacting you, if time is limited.
Academic diction. Your essay language should be semiformal or formal. You can use “I” but please avoid causal phrasing and never use contractions (write “do not” not “don’t”). Stay decent: use “urinate” not “piss” and so on. Sound smart: use “two men in particular advanced the ideas of the shin-kankakuha movement” not “two guys …” Avoid being chatty, clever, etc. Sound balanced and reasonable but not cold and disinterested.
Spelling. Spelling should be nearly perfect through all parts of the essay, including footnotes and all bibliography components. Spelling should be 100% accurate for all important terms, all names, and so forth. This is true, again, for all parts of the essay, including footnotes and the bibliography components.
Just about any type of romanization of Japanese words is OK, but be consistent. Macrons (the long mark over an "o" or "u" usually) are optional. All of these are acceptable romanization solutions: shinjū, shinjû, shinjuu, shinju. There are other systems, too, such as sinju.
I encourage students who can work with Chinese characters to include them in their paper but always include an English equivalent and/or a romanized version, in case the characters do not display correctly.
Punctuation. I am not strict about punctuation. If you give it a decent effort you should meet my common sense standards.
Treatment of titles. Please get this right! Academic readers want to know the nature of your source, and this is indicated, in part, by how you style it. Many students read more journalist prose (in newspaper, online) than academic prose. The New York Times, for example, uses quotation marks for books. Please note the distinction between language environments. We are working with academic language, with its own specific expectations.
- Articles, book chapters, short stories, and films use double quotation marks: “A short essay on commas” or “Star Wars”.
- Books and web site titles are italicized: The Tale of Genji and Wikipedia.
Treatment of foreign terms. Foreign nouns that are not names of place, people or historical periods and that are not common should be italicized: chashitsu (not part of normal English usage) but sushi (part of normal English), "Emperor Suzaku" not "Emperor Suzaku", "Heisei period" not "Heisei period" and so on.
Treatment of individuals you mention or cite. There is no standard way for how scholars and such should be mentioned in an article. Lean towards using last names but it might be useful to use first and last name on first mention. Be sure you know which is the first and which is the last name and, in the body of your essay, follow first name last name word order when the person is modern (so "Harold Suzuki" not "Suzuki Harold" but Chikamatsu Monzaemon not Monzaemon Chikamatsu). Also, a nice touch: if it is not obvious how the individual you are referring to fits into the essay or if for any other reason it is useful or just interesting to know, add a tag on the first mention: "Konishi, who specialized in early Japanese literary history, in particular the relationship between Chinese and Japanese literature, argued ..." or "Nobel laureate Kenzaburo Oe once complained that ..." and so on.
About the essay title
Please write an informative title not a general one. Please also avoid clever titles unless it is both clever and informative. Here are some examples from last semester, with my candid reactions now, looking at them again. Please remember that they had an entirely different assignment, so your titles won't look much like these:
Construction of the Feminine Ideal in Edo Japan
This is rather nice (but would be better as a 40-page paper).
Okashi's Influence on Heian Serving Ladies in Sei Shonagon's The Pillow Book
This is troubling since okashi is a literary term and doesn't really influence real people ... or does it? I couldn't tell if the student was about to write something really interesting or was being a bit sloppy in language use.
The Meaning of Japanese Sword
WAY too general!
Marriage and Politics of the Heian Society
Not bad. Almost too general. Hopefully this is about the relationship of marriage and politics not just a list of "about marriage, about politics ....".
How the Hiragana Derived from Chinese Characters
Clear, but the project lacks ambition.
Warriors of Heike: For whom do they Bleed?
Too clever to tell me much. Fun, however.
The Oni Within
Huh? Need more!
The women—for the heian period of Japan
WAY too general.
Honor as Performance in The Tale of Heike
Almost good. "Honor" "A bushi's honor" or "Warrior honor". It is a bit puzzling as a title, but intriguing.
Origin of the Ninja popular culture
"Origin of ..." usually makes me nervous. It is not so easy to pull off such a topic in a few pages. Most "origins" are pretty complicated. And, what, exactly is "Ninja popular culture"? Something like "Possible origins of ninja as portrayed in the video game xxxx" would be more satisfying and believable as a title.
How Women Rule in Tale of Genji
Sounds a bit too pre-decided as an essay but has a certain appeal. Not bad.
About the essay content (the body of the paper that contains your argument, not the title, bibliography, etc.)
➤ Please reread the overview comments.
➤ Please review to Academic Honesty page, to avoid errors on this critical assignment.
➤ We are most interested in your ideas. Make them accessible to us. Don't high them behind a veil or devote too much space to introductory facts or summaries.
➤ Use quotes only when ne cess ay. I ALWAYS ask when I see a quote whether it is helpful or just there to decorate the essay.
➤ I still fully support this principle:
Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.
— William Strunk Jr.
in Elements of Style
➤ It is the responsibility of the writer, not the reader, to resolve clarity issues, including concise expression where appropriate. Please rewrite your essay to improve its clarity, organization, and conciseness. Ask yourself whether that word is needed: "in approaching this subject I would like to suggest that we need to reconsider whether giri-ninjo is central to the play" could better be written as "I will suggest that giri-ninjo is not central to the play." Please do not take us on a journey as you "think aloud," writing your way towards a conclusion. This is a SHORT essay so that style as well as long introductions that slowly work towards the main intent of the essay are not appropriate in this case. In other situations, these can be very effective. But for short essays, no.
➤ In addition, there are these four requirements:
1) By the end of the second paragraph the reader should have a very good idea of where the essay is headed and its conclusions. (In longer works you can step through the argument and reach the conclusion as you proceed; for short works it is often a good idea to "frontload" your main conclusions early in the essay and then proceed. It is a huge gift to the reader and, being short, there are probably not that many steps in the argument to require a "slow build" of the argument.)
2) The final one or two paragraphs should clearly include your conclusion in a way that, should the reader only read the opening paragraph and final paragraph, s/he would have a reasonably good idea of content.
3) ADDED ON at the end, and NOT included in the word count of the essay, is a section that you must title SUMMARY which restates the content of your essay in very short form. It will only repeat information in the actual body of the essay; it cannot add new conclusions or new speculations.
4) How to calculate word count: highlight the first word of your essay after the title up until the last word of your essay before the SUMMARY paragraph(s). This will probably capture words in the footnotes, too; that's OK.
➤ Example of a paper (this one very short). The green portion is what is used for the word count.
A 60-Second Essay for Small Screens
In this essay I will show that some essays can be small enough to fit on a Smart Phone screen.
Today, after many days, the sun was shining brightly and breakfast was good.
SUMMARY
By keeping to the point, I showed that some essays are very short and can easily fit on ridiculously tiny screens.
Annotated Bibliography of Works Consulted
[Note: please do NOT use this as an example of formatting for your bibligraphy, I'm only showing the essay components]
Anonymous. "Writing Concise Sentences." Web. 21 Nov 2012. <http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/concise.htm>.
Weber, Ryan and Nick Hurm. "Conciseness." Purdue OWL. Web. 21 Nov 2012. <http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/08/>.
About how to cite (footnotes)
Read these instructions in full. They matter and these contents are graded carefully. However, do not stress over small issues ("If it is an email, how do I cite it?" "Uh-oh, I can't remember if there is a comma or period between the title and the publisher in the case of a footnote," etc.) When in doubt you can email your mentor but, frankly, I would rather you make a decision on your own following this principle: be clear and consistent in your choices. DO FOLLOW THE BASIC MLA STYLE FOR web pages, books, chapters within books, essays within books, and academic articles AND DO BE 100% ACCURATE WITH AT LEAST THIS INFORMATION: author's name, title, page location.
You can learn MLA bibliography citation style at any of these Web locations, and many others:
General comment: Read, under "About the bibliography" how a citation in a footnote and a citation in a bibliography list differ.
Citations for J7A/B have a traditional component and a special component:
First, footnotes—NOT in-line parenthetical citations—are required.
Therefore, you cannot write:
Strunk insists "that every word tell" (Strunk, 62).
You must instead insert a reference number, then a footnote (not endnote—that is elegant for hard copy essays but requires lots of scrolling for reading onscreen):
Footnote markers should be numbered 1 through whatever. Do not start with "1" on every new page.
If your citation is a direct quote, footnote markers come directly after the quote, as in the above example.
If it is not a direct quote, footnote markers usually come at the end of the sentence, but sometimes come at the end of a clause. THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT A READER CAN EASILY UNDERSTAND THE BOUNDARIES BETWEEN YOUR IDEAS AND THOSE OF THE INIDIVUAL TO WHOM YOU REFER. Locate footnotes accordingly and WRITE IN A WAY THAT HELPS KEEP THE BOUNDARIES CLEAR. For example, add phrases such as "While O'Brien argues, xxxx, in my opinion, yyyy."
Footnote markers occur outside the quotation marks, not inside them except is special circumstances. Also, they come after punctuation, not before it.
One footnote per citation. The below, for example, is unacceptable (and also has incorrect MLA form but that is a different matter):
(example removed at request of student, hopefully I'll be able to get something here later)
Please remember, if you are quoting Ralph who is quoting Minnie Mouse as saying that all holidays are depressing, critique Minnie Mouse NOT Ralph! It is her idea and make sure we know this is going on.
Citations point to specific locations in a text. Do not cite "Chapter 1" or the book as a whole or "in the first half of the book". Give us an ACCURATE page number.
Second (traditional, MLA style component), create the footnote as you would for any MLA standard footnote.
Third (special component), under that, tells us exactly how to go to your citation location.
Online
If it is an online source, first list the stable URL (the short one for JSTOR, not the thing that is endlessly long).
If it is an online source that is/was a physical object, it will have page numbers. Use them THEN ADD "middle of the second full paragraph" "two lines up from the bottom of the page" or something similar.
If it is an online source that is web-based only it will not have page numbers. Give us a word string to get us to the right location such as the citation refers to the paragraph that beings "A special breed of redundancy".
Paper
If it is a physical object that you used, you will need to scan the location AND if it is part of a larger argument, you might need to scan 2-3 pages. (You do not need to scan the stories or plays you refer to, or poems if there will be many of them, and so on. The concept behind the request for scans is to see how well you are referring to, and using, complex information such as a scholar's thesis on your topic, or analysis, interpretations, conclusions and so on. When in doubt, provide the scan, but try to balance that against avoiding too many documents, too much scanning, over-sized emails. This is not relevant for online sources; in those cases ALWAYS indicate location. This reduced requirement is in light of the complications of making, and sending, scans and is only for scans.) If you can mark directly on the document, that's great; otherwise, give us the same search cues as for a paginated online source ("middle of the second full paragraph" etc).
- Scan intelligently and reduce file size!!
- Include scans with your essay submission, not as a separate email.
- Label the additional files (that is, anything but your essay) as LASTNAME_classname 01, LASTNAME_classname 02, etc.
- Accepted formats: jpeg, png, PDF
Example
This is from an older version of my style pages. Please refer to this if you want to explore when to footnote and when not to or you can just use the general rule "when in doubt, foontote it":
Footnotes—when to footnote in my classes. This is a very common question from students and it is a judgment call. Too many footnotes clutter the work, too few degrade the academic quality of the work. Here are common scenarios when I would like to see footnotes:
The idea (conclusion, analysis, speculation) or information was generated with some effort by the scholar and that scholar deserves credit for it. "Forty percent of individuals who use ivory chopsticks while less than 10 years old develop arthritis earlier than average." That claim would have been the work of someone, obviously not you, and that person needs to get credit for it. Not to do so is a serious error in citation, one that is punishable. It is plagiarism even if you just messed up and forgot to cite it. There is very little room for forgiveness.
The idea (conclusion, analysis, speculation) or information is such that it is likely the reader would like to know more. You point them there. Your paper is serving the function of enhancing scholarship by making resources accessible. "There have been many studies on young children using light sabers as chopsticks." Wow, I'd like to know more. You really should give us a link via a footnote that points us there.
The idea (conclusion, analysis, speculation) or information is counter-intuitive or for whatever other reason is likely to generate doubt in the reader's mind. "There is a much greater quantity of water on the moon that was believed to be true a year ago." This is a true statement; however, there are probably readers who wouldn't think so. You protect yourself by documenting it. On the other hand, "There is considerable racial diversity among students attending Cal" won't be questions by your readers. However, if you lived in a country that did not know much of the outside world and didn't have racial diversity, they might not believe you and you would need to cite this. See how it works? There are no definitive rules; there are lots of judgment calls to make.
Direct quotation AND paraphrasing of course absolutely must have documentation. Further, the quoting, whether direct or in paraphrasing, must be accurate, not modified to support your argument. Not doing so is also a serious type of plagiarism that can have the most severe of penalties.
Not every sentence needs a footnote. Good judgment can be used here. When a scholar is cited and there is other similar information mentioned in something of a prose flow that could link all the comments together, the reader is likely to conclude that the other pieces of data are from the same source. (Ideas are a bit trickier to make this conclusion. It is better in the case of including a scholar's ideas — conclusion, analysis or speculation — to cite, to be on the safe side.) However, if more than one scholar is being cited in a back-and-forth manner or, for example, if one scholar is cited at the beginning of a paragraph and a different one at the end and the middle data is not cited, then it is hard for the reader to make a decision on the source. Plagiarism intentional and unintentional very frequently happens when the data is cited but not the analysis, leaving the impression that the facts come from someone else but the conclusion is yours. Be very careful to avoid this type of readerly misunderstanding.
Finally, and this is a very serious problem, plagiarism occurs sometimes when you have forgotten that something wasn't your idea. It slipped into your head while reading, it interested you, time passes, and you begin to think you own the observation or conclusion. Good research reading (not jumping all over the place, such as what happens when reading a number of web pages at a time), good note taking (because if you write it down, even once, it is less likely for you to forget that you learned it from someone else, not from your own brain workings), and writing drafts from notes are ways of reducing the chance of this slippery problem. Remember that you have no defense: if you present an interesting idea as your own and it appears in a work you are likely to have seen (even if you didn't), no one will believe that by coincidence your idea matches what is written. Nearly everyone, including the courts, will conclude that you have forgotten, intentionally or by accident, that you read it somewhere first.
About the bibliography
General comment: An entry in a bibliography contains the same information as an entry in a full (not abbreviated) footnote with these differences: A footnote treats the information as if it is a sentence: Author's first name, author's last name, Title (publisher, date). So, comma, comma, comma, period — like a sentence. An entry on a bibliography treats each piece of data as independent and puts the last name first so the cite can be easily located in an A-Z order list: Author's last name, author's first name. Title. Publisher, date. So, commas between linked information (the two parts of the author's name, the publication information) but periods between larger blocks of information.
How to title the bibliography itself
Please don't just say "Bibliography"; be more specific. If your bibliography lists only works you have actually cited, then "Annotated Bibliography of Works Cited". If it lists works you spent serious time with, whether actually cited or not but useful as research start points for the reader OR useful to help the reader understand the context of your own thoughts, then "Annotated Bibliography of Works Consulted". I want you to use "Annotated" because it is; most bibliography lists are just the works, as I am sure you are aware. For Step 02, title it "Initial Annotated Bibliography" if you can remember to do so.
Other basics
Use standard MLA style. However, do not stress over small issues ("If it is an email, how do I cite it?" "Uh-oh, I can't remember if there is a comma or period between the title and the publisher in the case of a footnote," etc.) When in doubt you can email your mentor but, frankly, I would rather you make a decision on your own following this principle: be clear and consistent in your choices. DO FOLLOW THE BASIC MLA STYLE FOR web pages, books, chapters within books, essays within books, and academic articles AND DO BE 100% ACCURATE WITH AT LEAST THIS INFORMATION: author's name, title, page location.
Do not number your list. Arrange it by last name, in an A-Z order.
Here's the content for each citation on your bibliography list
This essay has special requirements. It is not like an ordinary bibliography list (and should not be used in other classes). In general I prefer that you identify only a few excellent sources and use them well, reading them carefully (in full in the case of articles), drawing excellent ideas from the theses and other observations within the sources.
The first part of the citation is a standard citation following MLA style requirements, no others. I am, however, interested only in whether you understand the basics, not the fine points. You need to be able to handle web pages, books, chapters within books, essays within books, and academic articles. Beyond this some reasonable attempt at MLA form is good enough, but you are welcome to get more precise. You can learn MLA bibliography citation style at any of these Web locations, and many others:
The second part of the citation is non-traditional, a special request by me. For every item on your bibliography list, I want to know how you accessed the material, how we can access the material directly, how you used the material and a basic description of the source. Please please preserve the indentations, spaces between paragraphs, bolding of font, underlining of font, that is on the form.. *It might be possible to cut-and-paste from an earlier submission to complete some of these items. BUT, ask yourself if it was well-written the first time around or whether it can be improved and reconsider the "how I used the source" section since, in theory, there are now some changes. Please do NOT paste in extended reports! Reduce them to the appropriate size.
"How I accessed the source:" Please tell us whether you checked it out of the library (and which one, by the way), or read it in the library, or purchased it, or accessed it online, etc. If you accessed it online, you must include the URL you used, and make sure it works. The question is how you accessed it, not how you found it. (For example, some students answer "Googled 'impermanance'" etc.)
"How mentors can access the source:" If this is not an online source, then just say "This is not an online source." If it IS an online source, provide a working, legal URL that we can use without registering for the site. If it is an online source, this is an absolute requirement. If you cannot provide this link, then your source, including its use within the essay, is negated. Remember that most online repositories of academic articles give a "stable URL" which is much much shorter than the URL which appears in your search window. Please use it! Additional note: elsewhere I recommend against using GoogleBooks Preview mode. Here is another problem: what appears as a preview is not necessarily stable from user to user or even for one user who accesses it multiple times. You then run the risk that, at the mentor's end, the passage you used will be given as "not part of the preview". If it is very important to you and you really want to use that information, take a screen shot to keep a record. You will need to submit this (if you cite it) with your Step 03.
"How I used this source:" If it was just for information, say so, but say something about what information (not just topic, the specifics). Mostly I am interested in you reading the theses, observations, interpretations and conclusions of scholars in the field. If a certain thesis or idea was used or started a train of thought, and it should, explain that and be specific please. If this just provides the primary source then just say something like "This was a translation of Confessions of Lady Nijo and I used it as the primary source."
"Description of source and the portion relevant to your essay:" I would like to have some sense of the work itself, and, also, some sense of what portion(s) you used. Something along the lines of "This was a fairly large work, several hundred pages, on the history of the Kokinshū. I was mostly interested in the first chapter, which discussed the relationship of Kokin poems to Chinese poems." This cannot be cut-and-paste or a paraphrase of an abstract you find or from the book itself. This must be based on your personal review of the work that helps us understand the nature of the overall work and the place within it of the portions you use. In needs to be in your own words because this helps us understand if you understand the work. Thing carefully on the difference between a summary and a description; they are not the same. If you have read well, you can write a good description. If you have skimmed or not understood well, it is more likely you will place in this section a summary. Descriptions are grounded in your rich understanding of the source and what needs to be said to convey to another its shape, tone, thrust of argument, density of material, range of thought, etc. Summaries can be written without understanding content by paraphrasing topic sentences and so on. A summary of content can be useful and you can include it if you want, but it cannot substitute for description.