White Wine Cover-up Exposed; News Sparks Civilian RevoltA CLINE TIMES EXCLUSIVE VIOGNEVO, CA--Details of a calculated effort by Californian wine producers to suppress public knowledge of all white wines other than Chardonnay were exposed toady in a press conference held at Cline Cellars in Viognevo, CA. Viognevan Mayor, Frederic Cline, announced that several prominent Californian producers have for decades brainwashed consumers to believe that all wine was red--except for Chardannoy, which had to taste like oak juice to be acceptable.Upon news of the findings--reportedly leaked to the Clines by an anonymous source at one of Northern CA's most famed producers--the people of Viognevo have launched a grass roots rebellion against Winedom's chardocentric paradigm. Viognevo, long known as a stronghold of odd and eccentric grape varietals, has capitalized upon this singular opportunity to secede from California and establish itself as a breakaway republic devoted to the production of unique white wines that controvert the oak-juice principal. Matt Cline, Viognevo's Winemaker General, said of the findings that "this draconian plot to adulterate sumptuous white wine with oak-ridden Chardonnay is nothing short of criminal." Cline further alluded to possible connections with a major French oak interest using the fabricated Californian oak juice market to inflate sagging prices. To celebrate the secession of Viognevo from the Californian wine industry, Cline Cellars, Viognevo's leading producer, has announced the release of three exciting, new and decidedly un-chardocentric white wines. Mayor Fred Cline says of the new releases--a Marsanne, Rousanne and Viognier from the Clines' home ranch--"These gems should conclusively demonstrate that all wines are not necessarily red and, furthermore, that oak juice is not particularly pleasant to drink." Scattered reports surfaced this evening that groups of revelers, celebrating Viognevo's newly born vinous liberation, were already toasting their freedom with bottles of the Clines' stunning new Viognier. Certain outspoken rebels among them predicted that much of California will soon be doing the same. |
Cline to Release Rousanne; Trading Pressure High on Commodities ExchangeMatt Cline has, once again, conjured some vinous magic in the secret laboratory of his Viognevan nectar factory. The 1996 vintage will mark the release of Cline Cellars' first Rousanne, hailing from the Clines' beautiful Carneros property.Rousanne, a grape varietal indigenous to France's northern Rhone Valley, is known for producing the massive orange essence and hazelnut flavors of the greatest Hermitage Blancs. In California, Rousanne has yet to be accorded the type of care and attention normally reserved for only the finest Chardonnays...until now, that is. Matt's luscious Rousanne is grown on a steep, rocky slope and in gravely loam soils on the flats in front of the winery. The howling Carneros winds and shallow soils on the ranch naturally restrict yields and concentrate sugars and flavor elements in the grapes. Matt says of the wine: "Rousanne Kicks A___!!! I'm only sorry I haven't made more of this rare and delicious wine." A mere 417 cases were produced in 1996; consequent speculation on the commodities exchange is already running high in Cline Cellars Rousanne futures. Cline Times was able to contact Ramiro Fuentes, renowned Viognevan commodities broker who said, "Last year I made millions on the '95 Cline Viognier...That was one hot issue. But I'm convinced the "96 Rousanne futures are going to pay off Big Time!!!" Fuentes is long 2500 Rousanne 30 day contracts, several other traders have moved on his advice to buy. Fred Cline, Mayor of Viognevo and spiritual leader of Cline Cellars, is astounded with the incredible market surge that his Rousanne has created. "Rousanne is hot. I think we will be seeing a consequent slump in the Oak Juice Market during the months to come." Oak juice 20 days on the Commodities Exchange closed Monday down 12 points. |
Wine |
Vintage | Suggested Retail | Winemaker's Comments | Food Pairing |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cotes D' Oakley Vin Gris | 1996 | $9.50 | Strawberries and herbs de provence | Chinese and Thai food, cheeses and fruits. |
| Rousanne Los Carneros | 1996 | $20.00 | Honeysuckle, orange essence and hazelnut | Rich seafood dishes and oven roasted or grilled vegetables. |
| Viognier Los Carneros | 1996 | $18.00 | Floral and tropical nuances. Melon. | Seafood, especially lobster. |
| Cotes D' Oakley Vin Blanc | 1996 | $9.50 | Floral, fruity with nice acidity | Summer cuisine, pasta salads and vine ripe tomatoes with fresh mozzarella and your favorite olive oil. |
| Syrah Carneros | 1995 | $18.00 | Smoky, ripe black cherry and raspberry with hints of orange rind | Roasted game, grilled meats and vegetables |
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