Day 1 of my imprisonment:

I came in and saw a bunch of drooling fools and wackos, why am I put up with these, animals? I'm not like them, I'm normal, I'm not crazy, I only robbed a bank with a toothbrush. Never mind I was in my underwear, and never mind that I tried to deposit the money afterwards. See, I'm normal, I swear!

Well I might as well make the best of things in here before they fry my brain with their brain fryer thingy. I think I'm going to see if I can trip one of the black boys, yeah, that would be funny, haha. I should then steal his mop and run away with it and hide it. I WILL HIDE IT IN THE MOP CLOSET! They will never suspect that! Yes, I'm a genus!

Oh, and earlier today I noticed that there was this really big Indian guy just shrieking while he was getting his hair cut, I'm not sure why, its not so bad. Anyway, some big nurse came a'runin, and he was quickly put in the alone room, and everyone came and laughed at him. He is deaf, or so everyone says, but he isn't, I know, I'm smart.

While I was in the corner I saw a new guy come in. He was avoiding the guy with a thermometer and insisted on meeting everyone. He shook their hands and introduced himself, and when he got round to me he said his name was McMurphay and he was a gambling man. He looked pretty slimy, like some animal that is slimy and cheats and steals and lies.

One of the chronics, that's what they call the people who have no hope of recovery, was in a wheelchair, and I walked up behind him, all sneaky, and put the breaks on on his chair. Later one of the black boys tried to wheel him away and his chair would only spin, he was so confused. I was snickering over in my corner, it was so funny. It took two black boys and a nurse to figure out what I did.

One final thing for Mr. Journal, the head lady, or nurse, Ms. Ratchet, she is a scary lady, she act really nice and sweet, but she is really a evil creature. I am pretty sure she is the devils aunt or something, but she is just too composed, I am determent to catch her inner evil. I just need to think of a plan, maybe plant something in someone else's room to see if I can trip her up. Just need to think of what, maybe I will throw everything around, yeah, I will do that.

Well Mr. Journal, I'm going to go see if I can steel some cards and try once again to stick them in the walls.

Day 16 of my imprisonment, or maybe 4, or 12, I'm not sure anymore, no, its definitely 3 days.

So today I realized I have some subliminal connection to the chief, I can't explain it, but I can read his thoughts. I think I can at least. I heard some whispering about some “combine” in my head. And only chief was around. If it was him I don't understand what he means, what is this “combine”?

I went to talk to him about it, and when I mentioned the combine he started to fidget and look around. I knew he wasn't deaf and dumb, as they say. But even though no one was around, he still didn't say anything. I started asking him questions, but he got more fidgety and ran and grabbed his mop and started mopping franticly. I don't understand why.

Also today I was talking with some of the people who are also imprisoned, I think their called acutes, but they were talking about how they just got a new nurse, again. They said that they go though nurses and “black boys” quite fast, and only a few stay more then a few weeks. The lucky ones stay several months.

Here in this hell house of a ward, we have a Nazi like daily schedule, up at a certain time, then food, then play, then chores, then food, then sleep, then rinse and repeat. This is going to drive me insane, for real, especially with the nurse sitting behind her glass, watching us.

I don't think I will ever get used to this schedule, it is so mechanical, like there re machines somewhere running all of us. It is like we are in a giant machine that's trying to make us normal, for society, so we fit in.


Day 12 of this terrible place:

today we were woken up early, because the clock was broken and no one had the right time on their watches, so nothing was quite right today. I could tell the big nurse was all fidgety all day and I could tell she was irritable also.

Today we had what is called “group meetings” or the “therapeutic community.” I'm not sure how to describe it, it's like an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, only you sit around and the nurse brings up a topic that seems all calm and nice and might help the person. Only then the group grabs that topic by the ankles and runs with it and just goes until the person is in tears or just lost all cognitive sense. That's a funny word, cognitive, its like gears, running. Gears scare me, I always am afraid they are running something secret, and that I will be sucked in to them.

Today Mac was accused of pretending to be crazy to escape some work farm or something-or-other, I think he did, but he isn't any normaler than the rest of us, he maybe isn't flop round like a fish crazy, but he has some un-dieing hatred of “the man” or in our case “the woman.”

Oh, also today at the meeting, some guy names Pete I think, who is apparently very tired, decided he had enough, and started flailing his arms around like a mad man, and the black boys tried to get him to calm down, but he ended up hitting one of them, pretty hard, so the nurse stuck him with a needle. I feel sorry for the man, he doesn't know any better, but I guess they don't really know that.

One last thing before I go fight those goblins again, gosh, those big red pills give me funny dreams. Anyway, while at the meting we had group confessions, where some brave soul confesses to something, like I used to in church, until I brought a water balloon, oh man, that was funny, the guy was not expecting that. Ok, so at the group confessions somebody confessed they liked their sister, and almost immediately everyone started admitting that, then they were saying they wanted to fet it on with their sister and it got worse from there. Later somebody said something about how that was a pecking party, I'm not sure what that is, I will ask them later


Ok, now I'm off to fight the aliens so fare well.

Day 16 of this wretched place

Today I woke up by the black boys pouring freezing water on my face, apparently those cute little student nurses gave me the wrong dose, again. I was having a horrible nightmare, like I was in some very dense fog, and there was machinery all around me and things and people were just floating through it and I couldn't move, I was bound tightly with wire.

Maybe that was what the chief means by the machinery.

Today Mac was hanging out in the day room and he was trying to hold a conversation with a few guys and he all of a sudden flipped out and stormed up to the nurses station and politely asked her if she could turn the music down. Now, to this point I hadn't noticed the music, but now it is driving me crazy. I asked around and apparently it was the same thing over and over again. If anything this is going to make me more insane, not that I am now, but how can these people go through life listening to the same music? So Mack asked the big nurse if she could please turn the music down so he could have a poker game without yelling. She told him to think of the other people in there, and that some are almost deaf and can only hear it if its loud. She brought up a good point, and I could see he was stumped for a second, or he had to pee.

Several times I wondered over to play poker, but I never did very good, but I had a bit of money so I didn't mind, but today he started betting cigarettes, which is just fine, because I don't smoke, much, well, only on certain days, I can go through 3 packs a day, and the next day not even I cigarette. Anyway, Mac was winning a lot of cigarettes, but I suspect this isn't going to go on for long, some of these guys need their cigarettes.

day 18 in this Hell Hole


Everyone was awoken early today by Mac who was up and singing, but he was wearing a towel, mumbling something about stolen cloths! HA, my plan had worked! He will never suspect the other new guy! See, I took them and hid them in the mop closet, my gut tells me he wont be going in there any time soon!

Soon the nurse and the black boys came in to start the day, and she got flustered at seeing him in a towel and she immediately start to bubble and boil at his calm answers. She asked the black boys what happened, they started passing the blame around until she stopped them and started yelling at them, until they decided they should just go get him new cloths.

While they were off getting his boxers, he decided to drop his towel, and he had everyone, including me, that he was wearing no boxers, so when he dropped that towel, the nurse gave a jump and so did everyone else, but as it turns out, he was wearing boxers. His boxers were the coolest boxers I have ever seen, they looked so soft and they had white whales on them. I stood there in a trance starring at his boxers with the dozens of whales on them swimming around in circles, and for that moment, I was complete, nothing else mattered. After that whole fiasco everyone is up, but it is too early to brush teeth, but Mac was sarcastically agreeing that it was ward policy. So with the nurse, and everyone watching him, he dips his tooth brush in the soap bucket and proceeds to brush with soap. He is such a bad-ass, I can't even imagine brushing my teeth with soap.


day 20 of of this not-quite-as-bad-as-originally-thought place


so the day started off pretty normal, mack singing and going on about stuff I don't understand. I had had a horrific nightmare that one of the guys in the ward died and we were in some huge machine room, but it didn't seem like mt dream at all, I don't usually dream like that. The strangest part was I could chief way on the other side looking back at me.

At breakfast we were all sitting around listening to mac, when he bet he could fling a glob of butter onto the clock, we laughed but encouraged him. He waited until no one was looking and gave that lump of butter an epic toss, but it flew high, but ended up sliding down onto the face of the clock, and you could tell everyone was doing their best to hold in their snickering.

Before the meeting today Mac and the Doc had a meeting, and they were in the room for quite awhile, and when they came out they were laughing and they shook hands. I was wondering what they did in there, I would be walking and stop in place I was thinking so hard. At the meeting the doctor started off with saying that him and Mac went to the same high school and how they used to have school “carnivals,” whatever that is. I hope it isn't close to cannibals, I don't want to get eaten, I don't want to have a carnival here, I will get eaten!

Again Mac brought up the tub room, only this time the doctor chimed in and said he agreed that we do have enough staff, its not like those old conics are going to need much attention. After this went on for a little while you could see the nurse's hand start to shake and you could the little slivers of light begin to appear in her armor.


Day 22 in this place that isn't so bad at times.

During the meeting and after, and also before we discuss the carnival, and all the games. Why would there be games when your getting your flesh eaten off? No wonder these guys are in the ward! I bet their going to have zombies there, they eat flesh, and brains too! I have to get out of here, I don't want my brain eaten too, then how would I think?


Day 23

Sorry for that delay MR. Journal, I freaked out and apparently I must have hit my head and passed out because I woke up in a different place on one of the rolling beds in a hospital, and it took half the day to figure out where I was, I thought I had died because I woke up and the sun was coming directly I n the window. After I woke up a nurse I didn't recognize came in and asked me how I was and then showed me pictures and asked what they were, she was a cute nurse. She asked if I remembered what I was doing right before I knocked myself out. I wasn't quite sure but I told her It had to do with the carnival and the flesh eating and the zombies. She told me that a carnival was like a fair it had games and prizes and entertainment. She scribbled some things down on a notepad, and left. I'm still not sure, I really don't want my flesh eaten.

While I was gone they had divvied up who was going to do what as far as the games, and I still don't know if they had gotten it oked from the nurse.

day 26 in this stupid nut house


Today big 'ol Ms nurse called a staff meeting to discuss Mac's rebellion and if he should be sent to disturbed. I didn't hear anything about all the trouble I have caused, but maybe I'm just so sneaky no one noticed!

Oh, oops I forgot to tell you what happened the other day! So Mac and I were assigned to bathroom duty, and he stuck a little note under the rim of the toilet, but I didn't get to read it, but when the nurse came in to read it she jumped.

Also Mac brought up the world series was coming up, but it was after their time for TV. So he called a vote of everyone to change the schedule, and so we voted, I voted yes, but most people didn't. So the next day he went around dropping hints, then finally he got people to arrange in the tub room. He made a bet to anyone who wanted that he could lift the control panel, which I knew he couldn't so I bet him $10 and sat back and waited. He huffed, and he puffed and he blew the house down, that is a good book, but he just couldn't move the panel. He stood up straight and reached into his pocket and with a bloody hand and pulled all the IOUs out of his pocket and threw them on the ground and says “ at least I tried.”

Now finally at the next meeting he requests a re vote, to which Ms Terrible Nurse has her usual mechanical answers. This time, slowly all the acutes hands go up, but there are 20 of them and 20 conics, so the nurse proclaims it a failure but Mac and I go around and try to rouse at least 1 chronic to vote, and we finally get to the big ol' chief, and we keep yelling at him, until he slowly raises his hand. The nurse ignores us, claiming the votes over. So when its time for the World Series Mac and me walk into the day room and turned the TV on and sat down. The nurse saw us and twitched a little bit and turned the TV off, while she was doing this, the whole gang dropped what they were doing and started to file in and sit down, even the chief.

This is when they had the “emergency meeting” about us and how we have started rebelling.