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YOUR STRESS MANAGEMENT PROGRAM
COULD BE DANGEROUS!
Jerome Murray, Ph.D.
Even though you rigorously follow a stress management program, stress could still be ravaging you and shortening your life. This is true because most people's definition of stress management is erroneous. They think they're managing stress when they're actually managing dis-tress.
When I headed a psychiatric medical clinic I discovered my patients thought stress management was merely learning to relax and enjoy life. Many, believing they were engaged in a sapient pursuit toward greater health and self-fulfillment, energetically practiced relaxation techniques, yoga, meditation, and biofeedback. They played tennis every weekend, jogged faithfully, watched their cholesterol intake, and took pride in their enlightened lifestyle.
That view is still prevalent. Millions of dollars are spent annually on gym memberships, exercycles, and other means of improving cardiovascular efficiency. Multimillion-dollar industries have been created to service these enthusiasts' need for clothing and shoes.
Unfortunately, my patients and others who believe similarly are wrong, and the error could prove life threatening. The problem is one of timing. Much of the damage attributable to stress has occurred before these "stress management" efforts have even begun. Permitting oneself to be bombarded by stressors during the day and trying to undo the damage evenings and weekends is the classic "too little, too late." Living a hectic and frenzied life compounded by pressure and frustration and punctuated by periodic attempts to relax and exercise is a parody of stress management. It is more accurately an endeavor to manage distress, not stress.
While "distress management" techniques have their place, they are frequently nothing more than expensive padlocks to put on a barn already empty of horses.
The elimination of stress isn't the answer either. True stress management is distress prevention.
STRESS ISN'T THE PROBLEM
In an experiment to find out what would happen in a stress-free environment, subjects were placed in a deprivation tank. They floated in water warmed to body temperature with muscles temporarily paralyzed by Curare; eyes blindfolded and ears plugged. There was nothing to smell or taste; no sensations to which the subjects had to adjust. In a short time they began to hallucinate and have delusional thoughts. You might say they went crazy. Lacking stimulation, and needing it to function, the brain produced its own. The presence of stress isn't the problem endangering health.
Stress is the body's non-specific response to stressors. Stressors include frustrations, conflicts, and pressures and in general terms are known as adjustment demands. Every adjustment we make in life takes its toll in stress. The best definition of stress is "the wear and tear caused by living."
Yet stressors, as the deprivation tank illustrates, cannot and should not be avoided. They are essential to mental and physical health. Without the stress of learning, there would be no education. Without the stress of exercise, bodies would be flabby and unable to perform. Stress is inevitable and even necessary. It serves to condition our mind and body enabling greater performance. Stress can stimulate growth and confidence and actually assist in keeping us alive. The problem occurs when the stressors exceed our coping ability, or continue too long. When that happens, stress becomes distress, and distress is what kills us.
Two human conditions have the greatest potential for producing distress. Impotence and isolation. When either one is experienced we are most vulnerable to stress.
IMPOTENCE
Resist the impulse to jump to conclusions. This type of impotence refers to a psychological state in which we feel a demand to act but lack the authority or ability.
If you took a university psychology course, you may remember studying the "Executive Monkey" experiment. In this experiment, conducted at the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, two monkeys were strapped upright in a plastic box permitting limited movement. Each had a console with light and a button. Within ten seconds of the light being turned on the monkeys received a jarring shock to their feet; unless they pushed the button within the ten second grace period. The monkeys learned this faster than most graduate students.
The researchers then added an inventive twist. They disconnected one monkey's button and reconnected it to the other monkey's button. Now, one monkey controlled the shock for both. Being responsible for another, and having decision-making power, he was dubbed "The Executive Monkey." After twenty-three days of this pressure the "Executive Monkey" expired. A postmortem revealed the beginning of atherosclerosis, incipient renal failure, and a perforated duodenal ulcer. The non-executive monkey, not having the good sense to pass away, was sacrificed to the cause of science and found to be without physiological abnormality.
The moral was supposed to be that executives were prone to stress-related diseases because they have responsibility for others. At first reasoning that interpretation had face validity and overstressed executives sympathized with the deduction. However, every other attempt to duplicate the original results failed. Each time, it was the other monkey who developed ulcers. The poor dupe whose button didn't work. He knew he was going to get shocked, but was helpless to prevent it. It's known as "responsibility without authority," better known in corporations as mid-level management.
The most devastating type of stress is not heavy responsibility. It is having a sense of responsibility without the power to do anything about it. Responsibility won't kill you as long as your buttons work, but feeling responsible for something over which you have no authority will send you to an early grave.
YOU CAN ONLY DO WHAT YOU CAN DO
To avoid the distressful consequences of feeling impotent, limit your sense of responsibility to those areas over which you have authority.
Parents with dysfunctional children whose age precludes parental authority and intervention agonize helplessly over their children's mistakes. Employees feel powerless when they are stymied in their career because of the inadequacies of a supervisor. Anyone lamenting the quality of their life because of an inability to control the actions of others suffers from impotence and distress. In effect, they are saying to others "I am powerless to improve the quality of my life unless you change." That belief produces a feeling of impotence and heightened vulnerability to stress.
This doesn't mean that attempts to influence the lives of others are worthless. Sometimes, efforts to influence others succeed and they make constructive changes. However, don't be misled; influence is not authority. When others don't respond positively to your efforts to modify their behavior don't make yourself impotent by persisting in your efforts. Keep the responsibility where the authority is. Ask yourself the "Power" question.
"What can I do to live a more successful life even though this other person is not cooperating with my pursuit of happiness?"
That question focuses the issue on real power. Real power is what you do; not what others do or don't do. By concentrating on the authority you have to make choices about your own life you will minimize feelings of impotence. This reduces susceptibility to distress and has another important benefit. You'll be happier and more productive.
© Copyright 1997 Dr. Jerome Murray. All rights reserved.
Last modified on Monday, January 27, 2003