It was a dark moonless starlit summer night, probably 1972, in the middle of nowhere CA. Halfway home from grandma's house that means it was a Saturday night. My sister Colleen was in the front seat. I was behind my momma in the back seat with my sister Regina. Now I can't remember exactly why, maybe I was screaming that I had to go pee, but we pulled off the freeway at some deserted exit right there in nowhere California. We came to a complete stop there at the only stop sign in nowhere CA and Momma hung a right.

Well we must have looked pretty suspicious, three kids in a Volkswagen and all. Because, out of nowhere there appeared a California Hiway Patrolman bent on saving the world from lawless behavior on the roads. He proceeded to write a ticket with my momma's name on it for making an illegal right turn.

Momma proceeded to read him his rights, her rights, along with a pretty clear definition of right and wrong. In hine sight I think he felt pretty out of control. My sisters and I were cringing. Momma was on a roll.

Now it's still a mystery to me how he ever asked her to sign that ticket. Momma must have paused. But her reply was simple and clear, "I'm not signing that ticket". Then she proceeded to give him certainty in life about right and wrong and the appropriate way to do his job. I bet he still wishes he hadn't asked her to sign that damn thing.

Then it was all that, "but it's not an admission of guilt mam" bullshit. That's when he learned or at least heard about what bullshit is and how the word is used to explain events in the world. I don't think he got it at the time, he kept coming back with that " but it's not an admission of guilt mam " crap.

At some point I guess an officer in distress call went out. The little intersection in the middle of nowhere became a parking lot of CHP cars with their lights flashing that scarrey blue and red. I was feeling a little freakey.

Now it was a new official moron at the Volkswagen window helping Momma express her ability to take a stand. "Well mam if you don't sign the ticket we'll have to take you to jail". And Momma said "then you'll have to take my kids home won't ya".

Momma didn't go to jail, the cops didn't take us home and were all still reinventing the happily ever after part. Now if you don't think Momma's got chutzpah, then name it something else.

Somewhere along the road of life you've got to embrace your fear with all your heart.